We Are Inappropriate

It was back to school night last night.  You know, the evening, parents show up without the kids and we find out what our children will be learning during the year.

It’s also the night when parents sign up for all sorts of classroom volunteer jobs.

One of the requests from the teachers is to set up a time to come in and talk to the children about your chosen profession, trade or job.  Of course the parents who are a fireman, cook, dentist, bank teller, policeman, etc. are always welcomed with open arms.

“The kids will love it when you come in!” The enthusiasm is overwhelming.

However, for me and my husband, the mention of our chosen professions during back to school night, are…well…let’s just say… we don’t quite feel the love.

I guess it’s just the way the teachers contort their faces when I reveal our professions.   Obstetrics and gynecology and winemaking just don’t mix with small children.

I don’t blame them.  In a way it kind of makes me laugh. 

I know I could perform a real spiffy demonstration on fermentation, maybe when the kids are in higher grades.

For now, I’ll stick to planning class parties and driving on field trips, everyone seems to be alright with that.

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  1. Harry 1

    Perhaps the two of you should combine and give a demosntration on Gynaecology/Obstetrics/Winemaking. I have no idea how you would do it but I bet it would be interesting. The mind boggles!

  2. Evelyn 2

    Your website and your cooking ideas, recipes, along with your entertaining presentations of everything on your website I should think could be included as a profession.
    It seems all so professional that I should think the kids would benefit greatly to hear you speak about this.
    This form of technology today is very useful and educational for children when used properly on the internet. And to say the least, you website is being used the most proper way for helping others. The kids and their parents would love to know about your website. Just a thought.

  3. Laura 3

    So, I’m reading…and thinking. C’mon what would be that awkward to talk about?
    Okay then.

  4. Philly 4

    Maybe you could teach them about growing the grapes. Teach me the wine making


  5. Deeba 5

    LOL…what a life Cathy! Agree about wine-making…there’s a load to learn there; maybe it’s just Gynae which might make the kids go EUUUUUUUUUOOOW like my daughter!! :0)

  6. Shirley 6

    I agree that you do much more than wine making, Cathy, but I am thinking it’s not a bad thing that you get a bit of a break in the classroom because of the teacher’s reaction. There will be plenty for you to do. And, the first time you send in some of your home baked goodies, you will be THE most popular parent for sure!!!

  7. Marcy 7

    HAHA Cathy! That is pretty funny. I can just see the looks on the kiddies facies when you or your husband would be up there. Utter confusion from the kids on winemaking and absolute horror while the Wild Boar was explaining how babys come out, lololol.
    Do you remember the parent prefeesion day scene from the movie The Santa Clause, where Fireman O’hara is explaining third degree burns? The teacher calls for the psychiatrist to come up next? roflmao

  8. I think that’s rather rude. You could do so much cool stuff with your wine making! Like bring in a bucket of grapes and let the kids squish it, or take them on a tour of a winery…and as for the doctor part, you don’t have to get into the nitty gritty. He could just talk about how cool it is to hold a new life in his hands. Kids aren’t stupid. They have to grow up sometime.

    Snarl to the stupid teachers.

  9. That’s awesome…you get ’em pregnant (with the wine) and hubby pops ’em out…that’s a great team concept. I would have voted on you guys coming to career day. I adore wine and I have 7 kids!!!

  10. Laura 10

    when Cory was in the 1st grade I was going to college and in anatomy and physiology, we were disecting(sp) sheep eyes… my son would go to labs regularly with me (he adored my professor and the professor loved him)we talked his teacher into letting us bring several eye balls into the class and showing them to the kids they LOVED it… they begged for more as the year went on and we would bring a few things in for the kids to see… when we did the cats the teacher freaked out but the kids LOVED it…I bet the ob lecture would be a hoot in elementary school! who would be more uncomfortable the dr or the kids? my moneys on the dr LOL. wish you guys were closer my sons (fiance) is pregnant but I did talk her into the dr who did my hysterectomy he is fantastic :)
    I bet the wine demos would be cool too wonder if they would allow a tasting session??? ok its early in the morning and I have lost it LOL have a great day!

  11. Hey, I would have let you come speak at our homeschool, but we’re weird like that.

  12. Becky 12

    Yeah, I can see how that would be a problem. I’d stick to planning and driving, too.

  13. Erin 13

    A friend of mine’s father was a ob/GYN and when were in high school in our health class, the teacher handed out an article for the class to read. I believe it was on STDs? Anyway, the boy (who had the same name as his father) slunk down in his chair when he noticed that his father had authored the article. It didn’t take long for the rest of the class to notice as well. I’m sure he got over it since he’s an OB/GYN himself now.

  14. Have you ever seen Kindergarten Cop with Arnold Schwarzenegger? There’s one scene in the movie where he is undercover, pretending to be a kindergarten teacher, and he’s trying to find out what all the children’s father’s do for a living. One kid gets up and says “My daddy’s a gynemacologist and he looks at baginas all day.”

    It was the first thing I thought of when I read your post. Too funny!

  15. Teri 15

    While you’re a winemaker and I appreciate that on a bottle to bottle basis…You’re also a farmer, working the land, growing grapes, learning how the berries grow on your particular piece of land. Knowing when to fertilize and so much more about being a farmer that the kids would enjoy. Who knows maybe you’ll be able to inspire some kid to embrace the land and grow great food!


  16. Katie 16

    I always wanted to know an OB/GYN socially. Those would be some great party conversations.

  17. Suzette 17

    Were some of them uncomfortable because your hubby has maybe seen some of their hoo-has? Seen one hoo-ha, seen ’em all.

    I would totally enjoy socializing with a winemaker….hoping you’d offer free samples.

  18. I guess it could be a little off putting. Part of me thinks they may be missing out on some great sessions!

  19. Trisha 19

    Dissed by the elementary system! Ouch! Well, your readers love you just the way you are!

  20. Fran 20


  21. I only like inappropriate people.

  22. Rayrena 22

    Yeah, you guys are the pariahs on career day! I can totally see some parent getting their nose bent out of shape because you/the school were promoting drinking to kids. Perhaps the only people less welcome than you guys would be someone who worked for a cigarette company (me, until a few months ago!) and a medical examiner :)

  23. I know my kids would be all over both of your presentations!!

  24. Gee, this takes me back. My mom is a lactation consultant and childbirth educator. Every year she would do a presentation for the 7th and 8th graders on childbirth. Well, most times she would bring a slide show she had commisioned for her Lamazae classes called “A Sister for Stephanie” which depicted her pregnancy and delivery of my little sister. As I got older, it was embarrassing because not only was it showing me at age 6, but it was GRAPHICALLY showing the birthing process of my sister. Very hard to have friends over after that was shown in class.

  25. krysta 25

    i never thought that classrooms still did the parent comes into the class to talk about their profession… i know your kids are too young but when they get older and the teacher starts a history lesson about ancient civiliations and the importance of fermented drinks she/he would be a fool not to use you. i’m mean you can do science and history as one…. and the kids might learn something!

  26. Marjie 26

    They’d be almost as enthusiastic at a mechanical engineer specializing in strength of materials testing. I see people’s faces go absolutely blank when I try to tell them what I do. What about plastic surgeons explaining nose & boob jobs? Teachers would doubtless love those, too….the non-acceptable career options are so endless!

  27. Tracy 27

    What is wrong with educators today? It is the unique jobs that kids should be exposed to. Get them thinking outside the box a little. They already know about firemen and bank tellers. I would welcome both you and your husband in my classroom, we would just keep it age appropriate. Don’t give up, you could be the inspiration to one of the students.

  28. HAHA! I bet there are a lot of parents out there who wish they could be deemed inappropriate so they wouldn’t have to do the whole career day thing. . .

  29. phillygirl64 29

    Schwarzenegger: I have a headache
    Kid: Maybe it’s a tumor
    Schwarzenegger: IT’S NOT A TUMOR!

    loved that movie; especially the woman who always seemed to be eating

    as for your kids’ school, their loss

  30. Alisa 30

    Last year, in 5th grade, The Girl had to watch “that” movie. They even had to touch a *gasp*pad! Yikes, maybe your husband can help out with that? Or probably not eh? Yes, I’m sorry, you all are entirely innappropriate for volunteering at school. What will you do with all that free time?

  31. tipper 31

    I’m sorry-but it is funny-I can just see the teacher’s face!

  32. You and your hubs will be the class favorites when the kids get into college with your respective professions !

  33. Teri 33

    Wow, at least that’s more exciting than some of our parents used to be! We had an anesthesiologist once, so I think you guys would have been a welcome reprieve!

  34. Erinn 34

    It may not be cool now…but just wait till they’re older!

  35. Debbie 35

    Really? Don’t know how old the kids in the classroom are but you’d think a Doctor who helps Mommies bring babies in the world would be interesting.

    Sorta see the Wine maker thing but 1 step back and you are growing grapes and kids love to eat grapes. Plus good grief you get to PLAY IN THE DIRT and get paid for it. Sounds interesting to me!

    Their loss for the both you.

  36. I’m right there with ya on the inappropriate list. Dilettantes don’t get the respect they deserve!

  37. Tanya 37

    I can guarantee you guys would be the most interesting on “Career Day.” Well, at least if I was there!

    We never had a Career Day at my elementary school(s). My parents wouldn’t have been so exciting even if we did. Dad is a stockbroker and mom was a stay-at-home mother. I can just imagine my dad trying to entertain kids with stock figures.

  38. I bet the kids would love if you could take some grapes and have them step pn them to make wine like in the old days…

  39. Pam 39

    Too funny…How lucky are you to be a winemaker?

  40. ELRA 40

    I remember this one. I don’t recall having ob/gyn though! It’s a bit odd really, since most of the kids where my kid went to school a lot of the parent were physicians.

  41. Paula 41

    Come on over to my girls’ school … they’d love to have you and your hubbyman. Last year, one of the mom’s who is a surgeon, arranged for some of the 3rd grade kids to visit the hospital surgical unit for a private tour. The kids loved it! And living in Oregon, just about everyone is familiar with all the wineries plus the McMinnamin family attended the school, so it’s all good.

    I wonder if they’d want me to attend …my career is that I homeschool my son. I could share all the advantages to homeschooling! HA! Ooooh, I’m so tempted!!

  42. misty 42

    i don’t know… when its time for them to learn about, well… certain things- you guys could BOTH go in and offer tips. :)

  43. Obstetrics and Gynecology and Wine (and thereby, winemaking) happen to be two of my very favorite things! Perhaps you can give a timeline on how winemaking can create a need for an OB/Gyn, or vice versa! (Kids driving parents to wine in droves!)You can lecture to our family about either any time! :)

  44. Lo! 44

    As the child of parents with interesting jobs (Home-maker and Antiques Restoration Guy), I remember wishing I could take my mom/dad to school for the day. Everyone else’s parents were so boring :)

    I’m sure your hooligans feel similarly!

  45. Olga 45

    I don’t get it. Maybe I’m too European, again. But what is the problem with an OB/Gyn? He’s a DOCTOR, for crying out loud. A person that makes sure that people (OK, women, but women are people, too!) are healthy. Also a person that helps make sure that babies are born healthy. I know, I know, sex is EVIL and DISGUSTING and we shouldn’t talk about where babies come from.
    As for wine-making: You’ll be amazed to hear in Germany students make wine in Chemistry class.
    So I feel that your professions are perfectly appropriate and even vital to a good education.
    Somehow related, however: At the school of a 13-year-old friend of mine they had a job-shadow day. She wasn’t allowed to shadow me, because I’m a linguist and nobody knows what those people do all day long anyway. Which is sad, because being a linguist is what she wants. I think children should be exposed to more possibilities at school, not less.

  46. sharon 46

    Too funny, though I’m sure any college kid would love to hear your wine making tricks!

  47. melissa 47

    I think that’s too funny. Your husband helps bring life into the world, isn’t that crazy? Like he would tell a bunch of little kids details. When I had my son 19 months ago a family was in the birthing room with their mom. 6 little kids watched their sister come out. I’m sure that was a hot topic for quite awhile.
    As far as wine making, no one wants to talk about it but when it happens everyone gonna be wanting a freebie.

  48. Well somebody has to plan parties and do the driving.

  49. Kate 49

    How sad. Your husband helps the babies get born. And your wine helps the babies get made. I love it that you’re “inappropriate”!!

  50. Egghead 50

    I will bet you that three quarters of the kids know what wine is so why not tell them about how you grow grapes. Having babies is always a fun one to answer. I bet the boar would have no problem explaining in medical terms that the kids would never understand. Only as inappropriate as nature.

  51. ALF 51

    You should combine the OB-GYN and winemaking into one presentation for the kids. It will be GREAT! They’ll be thoroughly confused.

  52. Bunny 52

    I’m kinda curious Cathy, what do your boys think about it? I’m sure they’re very proud of each of you for your work, so what will you say to them when they ask why you’re not going into school to talk about it ?? I agree kids aren’t stupid and the teachers have to know that you would keep it age appropriate….don’t they?? Maybe they would be the ones that would be embarresed hee hee.

  53. heh.

    my co-worker just went to this for her kids. the third-grade teacher had a powerpoint presentation to discuss the intricacies of third grade. i can’t help but think that things have changed from when i was a girl.

  54. Leslie 54

    LOL..too funny..maybe the kiddos can squish the grapes!!

  55. Could probably be worse; one of you could be a Proctologist… or maybe even a cattle or pig Artificial Insemination Technician… Those positions could involve some delicate explanations.

  56. Carly 56

    Kids need to learn early not to waste their time on Franzia. I think they make them wait until 6th grade for the OB/GYN talk and with a signed waiver.

  57. dlyn 57

    Well, I can see how they might be connected. I am fairly certain there was some wine involved in my eventual need for an obstetrician.

  58. Flea 58

    I think I’d have been horrified, in elementary or even high school, to have an OB/GYN come in and give a presentation on their work, complete with visual aids and props. Yeah. Um, no. College? Whole ‘nother story.

  59. laura 59

    THAT’S why i never get asked to speak at career day! here i thought it was because i am a PTA reject mom but noooo they are afraid i might tell them where babies come from.
    i stock the snack cupboards and buy the wrapping paper. don’t you just love the wrapping paper fundraisers?

  60. KathyB. 60

    I was just thinking..you and the Wild Boar would really be great doing a bit of team – speaking.So much comes to mind, wine making, baby making, wine drinking, baby making…..then you should market this partnership to the after college group! Hey, I would pay real money to hear you two speak on either or both topics . And throw in a wine tasting AFTER the gyn- check-up and I will give you a great tip ! KathyB.

  61. I’m giggling just imagining their faces as you tell them what you can come in with…

  62. Never thought about that! Two professions in one family that aren’t particularly kid-friendly! ;-)

  63. magpie 63

    LOL – He could do sex ed, and you could do Mothers against Drunk Driving?

  64. Alanna 64

    What? Inappropriate? Seriously, I think you guys are the COOLEST.

  65. I know. They never wanted accountants or school principals either. Except one of my hunkster’s colleagues used to be an NFL player and had a Super Bowl ring. So then, his status as an accountant was fine. Like, that’s a big deal? hehehhehe.


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