Dear Horse Owners In My Town:

What’s wrong with you?

Why do you feel you are exempt from cleaning up the fecal land-masses your horse drops on certain city sidewalks?

What if all the dog owners followed your lead?  Can you even imagine how disgusting our town would be?

Every morning I set out on my walk with my friends Lisa, Lori, sometimes Wendy and sometimes others…and you know what?  We are all disgusted by your total lack of caring about this situation.

Why are your horses on the sidewalk anyway?

Don’t you think it’s time you take responsibility, making a reasonable effort to clean up the public nuisance droppings you so carelessly leave behind?  This would save those of us WHO HAVE NOT YET EATEN their breakfast from having to gag and hurdle over these massively noxious piles of poop-de-doo?  Did I say massive?

If you agree to start the cleanup process, I will agree to STOP calling you the POOPERTRATORS.  K?

Thank you.

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  1. You know, around here they post signs ” horses not allowed on sidewalks”. Maybe someone could post signs ” horses not allowed to poop on sidewalks”. Or provide those huge garbage bags free for the riders to fill with horse apples, like they do for doggie – doo. KathyB.

  2. Dear horse owners, sidewalks are for walking, NOT pooping. Anyway, in very rural and rodeo-oriented Roy, there are signs posted that say clearly ” Horses NOT permitted on sidewalks”. Do you think horse towns might just know a thing or two about horses, their owners, and sidewalks ? KathyB.

  3. Laura 3

    I guess horse owners are unpoopular in your town?

  4. Philly 4

    Don’t they have those poop bags hanging from their butts, like they do when they are in parades?


  5. Gosh, if that were my town, I’d be the crazy lady going around collecting it for compost. LOL
    Then again, I do have the annoying habit of seeing the silver lining in just about anything ;)

  6. There’s this pooh catching things that horses that are used for turistic site seeing have. Maybe the people in your town shoul be introduced to those!

  7. You could make a special horse riding lane with a enormous pooper scooper on wheels that drives the poop path a few times a day and grounds the poop into compost, which gardeners could purchase for a $1 a pound. If it makes any money, I want credit.

  8. Hey I don’t get it. We have to clean up after dogs when they make sidewalk pate so how do the horsey people get away with it?

  9. Marcy 9

    YUCK! I hope they start doing something about that, thats nasty….

  10. melissa 10


  11. Kim 11

    As a horse lover and rider this is a discussion that I have not pondered. I live in a city that has horse drawn carriage rides and they are required to clean up after themselves. Here’s your chance to create an ordinance, Cathy.

  12. I hate it when that happens.

  13. where exactly do you live that people have HORSES on sidewalks? that wouldn’t fly here in jersey! i can’t even imagine. hee hee..

  14. I’m not familiar with the nature of horseback riding in your town. Are these long hiking trails or do people just ride their horses through town? That second option seems a bit strange for the general area where you live, but I imagine it’s possible. If they are hiking/biking/horse trails, perhaps those poop bags they wear for parades would get too full?

    It would be pretty hard for a rider to get off and scoop every time her horse took a dump. Horses seem to lift their tails and go constantly with little regard to where they are going. They’d have to carry shovels and there would have to be trash cans at frequent intervals or they’d have to pack it out. That could be pretty cumbersome. Some horses also freak out at waving plastic, so riders would have to keep those bags from rustling in the wind. Also, horse poop does not stink nearly so badly as dog poop. I shovel the stuff every morning, and it has a rather sweet odor. (I’m not saying I *like* it, but it’s not bad.) Plus, it’s made up of just grass and grain. You don’t want to think about what Fido’s poo consists of, and you’d have to think beyond the tidy little pellets of dry dog food to what they are made of. We used to have a neighbor that collected the carcases for a dog food factory. Just driving by one of the dog food plants smells much worse than the feedlot down from my house.

    However, I do agree that these people should not be riding their horses on the sidewalk! They know what’s going to eventually happen and to ignore that is just rude to everyone else who has to use that sidewalk. Certain people I know (ahem, inlaws) like to ride across my driveway and stop to chat while their horses poop right next to the back end of my car. If they poop in the yard immediately surrounding the house or on the sidewalk I have, well, I have a shit fit. There are 45 other acres on this property for those horses to poop on. I force dh to deal with his parents on it though since I get to handle my moms little idiosyncrisies.

  15. Leslie 15

    YOu get em Cathy!
    There is nothing like a nice morning walk with the fresh scent of steamy horse crap in the air! Ahhhhh

  16. Trisha 16

    I agree that if dog owners must scoop the poop – so should horse ownders!

  17. Cassie 17

    Ooooh yuck! I don’t miss that at all. I live very rurally now and even our walkways are pooped covered! Sometimes by gravel road is cow patty covered if they moved a herd, though. Does that count?

  18. Ew! That sounds awful! You must have a lot of horses around. Nearby me (big city) they do those horse and carriages rides, but have these “diapers” on the horses so we don’t have that problem. Your neighbors need horse diapers!!

  19. What?! I don’t get it…why are they on the sidewalk? Seriously? Back when my town was “small” like your town, I would ride my horses all over…never once did I think to ride on a sidewalk. Weird.

  20. Howdy 20

    You made me laugh today as I remembered a conversation with my daughter earlier this summer.
    We were preparing to move to our Stone House in Lancaster County, PA and I was showing my daughter the area which is home to many Amish who use horse & carriage as transportation. She commented on the horse poop along the road… wondered who cleaned it up? I told her it was bio-degradable and God took care of it.
    Of course this is a way of life here in a small town & rural farming area – but these horses are not on the sidewalks.
    I do agree with the person who posted above – I pick up after our two dogs… and that STINKS.
    Sorry to hear the leisure riders in your area are being inconsiderate – at the very least they should stay off the sidewalks.

  21. Poopetrater? That’s awesome!

  22. katie 22

    Gross! WTH?!

  23. Terrie 23

    POOPERTRATORS!! I love a good pun! Thanks for that one.

  24. What the heck are they doing on the sidewalk?

    Some places don’t allow bicycles on the sidewalk. I think “no horses” is a reasonable ordinance.

    Unless it’s the police mounted patrol, in which case you just have to deal with it.

  25. Teri 25

    heh heh you said poopetrator! Funny!

  26. ELRA 26

    We have exactly the same problem here in my neighborhood. My neighbor right next to my house has very – very beautiful white horse, loves to whine…., then my neighbor across the street also have (I think 2) horses. They love to take them to go for a walk. I don’t know how many people in this community have a horse, but I can tell you…. they are many….
    Because, when you go to walk your dog, run, or walk your self…, you’ll see many people riding their horse. And, you also have to make sure that you don’t step on those yucky thing (you know what I mean)

  27. Good Saturday morning to you, Cathy.
    Some people’s rudeness with regard to their animals is amazing. They would be horrified if YOU were to poop on a sidewalk, but somehow they are oblivious to how offensive it is if their horse or dog does the same thing.
    I wish the cops could make it a misdemeanor for 7 days in jaill or $500 dollars and really enforce it.

  28. rachel 28


    Oh mah hell. I’m laughing hysterically. Ye Gads woman.

    good luck with that.

  29. april 29

    I’m thinking something is wrong with me after reading all the comments because I was thinking, “Horse poop makes you gag?” I like horse poop, not to eat of course, but I just like it’s earthy smell and putting it in my garden. We don’t have sidewalks out here, but whenever we go on walks there is horse poop on the road. I’ve never thought about the riders stopping to clean it up, that just seems strange to me. But I don’t think they should be on the sidewalks if there is a perfeclty good road to use. So, make some nifty signs and post them on your route asking those horses to get off the darn sidewalk and go poop in a garden close by.

  30. I’ve always wondered the same thing…well, not exactly about sidewalks, but still, poop is poop.

  31. Lex the Mom 31

    That would be a nuisance. & horse piles are quite massive. I think I’d be following the poopetrators & getting their plate, what would you get?

    I don’t think they (horses/riders)should be allowed on sidewalks, either – especially with a road nearby.

  32. Bunny 32

    EEEEEEWWWWWWW!!! I can’t even imagine having a problem like that!!

  33. Jeanette 33

    I call it a “city slicker” mentality.

    I live in the country, there is a stable around 1 mile from me. Of course, those of us who live in the country, usually do not require the use of a stable for their horses. Normally, it is people living in cities and towns that use a stable for their horses.

    So, they come out to the country, you know, to enjoy the nice scenery, nice fresh air, go for a little ride instead of just riding their horse in the arena at the stable.

    So they ride along the road, and eventually come to our driveway.

    Now our driveway is marked with a name plate, it has a set of gates, it is VERY obvious that it is an private entrance to someone’s driveway and yard.

    Do they care?

    No, they think they have the right to come right to trespass and come right into our yard. And of course, their mounts are dropping horse apples all over our lawn and driveway.

    And do you think they even think about cleaning up after their horses?

    Just no respect for others or their property.

  34. Alisa 34

    Ewww. Yes, if I have to pick up my dog doody and carry it around for the entirety of my walk, you must pick up your horse pucks.

  35. This didn’t happen in the town I live in, but in the one that borders us…

    One day while we were at a cute little ice cream shop, this man and his son ride up on horses. At first we were all “Oooo horses!” until one of the horses pooped right next to where everyone was sitting. To make matters worse, the man riding the horse decided that some how kicking the pile of poop (thus spreading i all over the place) was a great idea. All he succeeded in doing was creating an odor that caused almost every patron of the ice cream store to get up and leave. It was not pretty.

    So…needless to say…I completely and totally understand how you feel.

  36. Hmmm… I scoop for the Brute Squad… you’d think the owners would scoop for a horse.

  37. Cheryl 37

    On the rare occasion we have a bad case of the poopertrators (fabulous, BTW), guess the secondary occupation of the defecators? POLICEMEN!!! We have the occasional mounted policeman trot down our avenue and on more than one occasion I’ve assumed a child has stepped in some rudely left dog poo only to realize the scent is emanating from a mid-street stack of stuff.


  38. ntsc 38

    Then there was the year the mayor of my home town wanted to know why the mounted unit couldn’t lead the Memorial Day parade instead of being the last unit.

  39. tipper 39

    Other pet owners have are required to clean up-so should they!!

  40. Marjie 40

    Never mind the dog owners. That’s disgusting enough by itself!

    One year, there were horses in our 4th of July parade, followed immediately by the road crew’s front end loader.

  41. Kate 41

    I live in the country and see this all the time. But in the city, or a town, it should be cleaned up.

    And why are they on the sidewalk in the first place?

  42. Alicia 42

    It must be lovely to live in a community where people still ride horses in town. But I agree, they should clean up after themselves, YUK!

  43. Laura 43

    Oooh, you just hit on one of my total pet peeves. Along with parents who think it is ok for their kids to (consistently, repeatedly, regularly, and old enough to know better) run through my front yard when I cannot run my dog in theirs. ARGH.

  44. Well, that’s just gross and inappropriate!

  45. Flea 45

    So who in your town would you talk to? The mayor’s office? Parks and Recreation? There must be an office to speak to see if there’s an existing ordinance. And when signs will be made (not if).

  46. sassy 46

    Well, I generally like the smell of horse manure, ON A FARM, not on the sidewalk during my morning walk.

    I think those horse riders are rude to be riding on the sidewalk where people walk. The walkers need to start complaining to the city officials.

  47. grace 47

    oh cathy, i can always count on you for a good, hearty chuckle. poopertrators? ah, you slay me. :)

  48. please tell me you’re not serious!! horses on your sidewalk! u crack me up.. i have a BOAR pic for you I took while in Mexico!! do you want it!

  49. giz 49

    Hey Cathy!!! Thanks for helping me find the first reason for thinking living in the city isn’t so bad.

  50. Mrs. L 50

    You shouldn’t make me laugh so hard while I have my morning coffee in my hand….

  51. dawn 51

    I live on a main street in a historic village where everybody and his f*ing brother & dog walk. So, I have a lot of poop presents left on my lawn, driveway, you name it. I’m tired of it too.
    I even had one guy peeing on my side yard one summer evening. I yelled at him, he told me to f off, so I chased him with a tennis racket (all I had at the time). Once he saw me come running with my tennis racket (lol) he ran for his life with his thingee hanging out. I hope he learned a sweet lesson.

  52. Kiki 52

    If you can track down who is doing it, you could always bag it up & set it on fire on their doorstep. Then they have to step on it to put the fire out.
    Horses just don’t belong on sidewalks.

  53. Wait, WHAT?? Horses on the sidewalk? Horse pucky everywhere? WHAT? I live in the COUNTRY and you never see that. I live between two horse farms. I’ve never once seen horsey doo strewn about the land, let alone where the rest of us walk.


  54. That’s extremely nasty. Reminds me of Mackinac Island where I used to go as a kid. Horse piles everywhere.

  55. barbara 55

    I understand your anger. I get really cross with people who don’t cleanup their pet mess in the street.

  56. You should send this to your local newspaper.

  57. Sidewalks???

    But otherwise, can’t say that I mind horse poop – processed straw – not like dog or other poop at all as far as I’m concerned. And although I don’t have a sidewalk, neighbors and their horses cross my land – there is horse poop where I walk – doesn’t bother me a bit.

    Neither does bear scat or deer droppings or bobcat scat or coyote poop – all where I walk.

    What I don’t get is the anger about it, but I CHOSE to live where I knew this was.

    I don’t have horses.
    I have a dog.
    I pick up after my dog.

  58. Jamee 58

    Where in the world do you live?! I live in a rural area and we don’t even have horse caca on the sidewalks! I guess that’ll give us something to shoot for!

  59. ELRA 59

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  60. Dee 60

    Poopetrators is just too funny! Hey, I saw elephants walking the streets of Bangkok. Guess you really have to watch your step there.

  61. They really don’t clean up after themselves? That is seriously messed up. A load of horse crap!! ;)

  62. That is really crappy!! What happened to common courtesy.

  63. Harmony 63

    HA! “POOPERTRATORS”…I love it! I agree what is the deal with that?!


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