The Wild Boar and I went to dinner the other night to a great restaurant. We’ve been there several times. It’s a fun place, it’s festive, it’s not a quiet joint but not loud either.
However, the tables are VERY CLOSE together. Like inches close.
As the Wild Boar excused himself for a short trip to the bathroom I began to focus on the voice of woman sitting at the next table. I was not eavesdropping on purpose, SHE WAS HAVING AN ABSOLUTE FIT and not in a quiet way.
She could not contain her opinion about a table of four diners next to her. She had been observing a woman at the other table who told her dining mates she would not be partaking in the bread/appetizer part of the meal. Again, this is how close we were, you could hear all this stuff. The difference was this table of four were enjoying their night and weren’t paying attention to Miss Ranty-Pants sitting next to them and me.
The woman said to her husband, “That woman’s friends should be protesting her half-hearted presence”.
Ummm…Kay. A bit harsh don’t you think? And this woman was not nicely whispering this. Her voice was loud and she was talking with such disgust and anger you would have thought the woman at the other table had just committed a felony.
She went on: “Oh, look at her, sipping only water while her friends enjoy wine. Terrible. What bad manners.” Or something like that.
What? At this point the Wild Boar returned but now I was so involved in this whole debacle and WAS NOW totally eavesdropping on purpose because I had never heard anyone so PISSED OFF about something that was so entirely none of her business and wasn’t even important.
“I’ll bet that woman orders a salad for dinner. I know she will.” While she pounds her fist on the table.
Gawd! I mean seriously, what the hell? Why did it matter? But all I could hear was her voice. No matter what I did I couldn’t stop hearing her rant.
“I can’t wait to see what she’ll get. I bet it’s a plain, damn, green salad, I know it.”
The poor man this woman was with looked exasperated, skittish and deer in headlight-ish. He didn’t say a word, which is probably how she has gotten away with talking crap like this her whole life. But geez, this woman NEEDED AN INTERVENTION.
“Oh my gawd! I knew it, grilled chicken! Do you see that?”
Okay, when was the last time grilled chicken was so evil! It can even be fattening if you eat the skin! Last time I checked, grilled chicken was still good to eat, diet or no diet.
“Do you see her, I bet she doesn’t even finish it. If you are out with friends you should eat like you’ve never eaten before. What’s wrong with her?”
I couldn’t take it anymore. She wasn’t going to stop.
My back was to her. I did something so unlike me but I felt provoked even though she had no idea I was even listening.
I spun my chair around, which made a horrible noise and I said, “Enough!” Her jaw dropped. I seriously thought she would clobber me with her purse. Eeks, maybe I overstepped my boundaries…
I spun my chair back around. Now the Wild Boar was looking a bit deer in headlight-ish. Even I was surprised with myself.
But you know what? She shut up. Not even another peep came from her trap.
They left. And we ate. In peace.
So could anyone please tell me what was wrong with this woman? Was she bored?
Now, I would like to say I have been to dinner with someone who didn’t eat ONE thing because she was dieting and it was very uncomfortable. Kind of like, why are we here? But this woman wasn’t NOT eating, she just wasn’t gorging.
Have I missed some type of social etiquette rule where in the company of others you must stuff yourself to kingdom come? Is this a rule?
Is it not totally bad manners to watch what others eat and the speed at which they eat it at? Isn’t it?
This was just weird. I feel better now that I’ve told you all about it. Thank you.