Since the hooligans were hours old, the Wild Boar and I have always discussed, often in great detail, the poops of our children.
Sounds odd but I’m speaking of it in terms of health.
It’s a subject I never thought would be a part of my life. As a parent you worry, wonder and think about it on a daily basis.
Let’s face it, up until you have kids the only pooping habits you are concerned with are your own.
As soon as hooligan number one was born, the question of the day started with the nurses in the hospital.
It’s the first time management of another human being’s poop is so important and falls completely in your hands.
Did he poop?
How many times?
The pediatrician asked the same questions.
What color is it?
And this is where life and marriage changes. You and your mate are no longer discussing weekend plans but how many times a day your precious infant did the poop-de-doo.
The Wild Boar would always call me to see how my day was going. Inevitably the conversation would always end up going something like this..
Wild Boar: Did the baby poop today?
Wild Boar: How many times?
Me: Um, twice.
Wild Boar: Was it hard or soft?
Wild Boar: What’s normal?
Do you see where I’m going with this?
The point being, the pooping habits of your baby become a happy event. You know if they are pooping, they are healthy. And that doesn’t change as they grow older.
As toddlers and as they age they stop necessarily pooping everyday (or hourly as an infant) and you find yourself wondering, “when was the last time?”
Even last night, one of the hooligans said, “I feel slow and sluggish”. The Wild Boar looked right at me and said, “when’s the last time he pooped?”
Thankfully, I really had no idea because my job as poop manager is more than over. Thank goodness.
But this reminded me of earlier times when two kids were in diapers and I was fully immersed in Poop Management 101.
However, I often wondered and obviously still do if we were the only ones who had so many of these conversations?
Maybe because he was a doctor we talked about it more than other couples. But really I have no idea.
Did you and your mate call each other during the day and ask if the baby pooped?
I still find it funny and strange to this day.