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The Royal Bag


One of yesterday’s top news stories was coverage of President Bush’s final farewell trip to Europe as President of the United States.

Bush was in England meeting with her majesty, Queen Elizabeth ll. The reporters were filming Bush and the Queen (with Mrs. Bush and Prince Phillip three steps behind) giving the First Family a personal tour of Windsor Castle.

George Bush looked extraordinarily bored as the Queen pointed out pieces of fine French furniture, tapestries and sculpture.

However, what struck me as funny was Queen Elizabeth walking, chatting and pointing out things all the while carrying her PURSE!

Why does she always, always have that purse with her? She’s in her house for gawd’s sake carrying that bag around! Why?!

What the heck is in there?

Let’s be honest, doesn’t the Queen have maybe, ump-teen ladies-in-waiting? Are these woman not hanging out on the sidelines of her life, ready to jump on every need and want she could possibly request at any moment?

I know her castle is gi-normous and I’m sure getting back to the bedroom for a quick cosmetic touch up is a sheer pain in the neck, but if it’s her hanky or tube of lipstick she can’t live without…can’t one of her people carry it for her? Must she carry the clunker clutch with her everywhere?

So what’s in there?

All of England’s launch codes for nuclear warheads? Tic-Tacs? She’s too old for tampons. Snacks (I’m sure everywhere is too far from the kitchen)? Treats for the Corgi’s? Hemorrhoid Cream? Pepper Spray?

I mean what could be so important that the QUEEN has to carry it herself! Always.

This must have been a previous presidential trip to England.  She’s still got the bag.  George looks like he wants to swipe the purse and run.  Even he is a little curious about the contents of the royal purse.


Can you imagine wearing a crown and needing to carry a purse?  Maybe she has a diamond polisher in there.  I think the woman next to her has the same concerns I do.  She had to bring her own purse out of politeness to the Queen.



There she is with The Clinton’s.  Same type of black bag but with a different gold doo-hickey.  Hmmm….Do you think she has any Coach or Dooney & Burke? 

There are even pictures of her in parades carrying a purse.  Why do you need a purse in a parade?

I wonder if Majesty Magazine would have all the answers?

So does anyone know WHAT’S IN THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND’S PURSE?  I’m intrigued.

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Comments

  2. This is the same question that has been asked for years and years and years. And you know what? No one seems to know.

    I bet who ever cracked the answer would become a millionaire.

    Reply

  3. This always strikes me as odd too. I’d like to think she has a pack of gum and a hankie in there….that’s what my great gram would carry around in her purse.

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  8. “She’s too old for tampons”. I have never laughed so hard on a Monday morning. Thank you so much for that!

    This is an interesting question, isn’t it? What the hell could be in that bag? And why is it so plain? It looks like one you might pick up at Wal Mart or K Mart, doesn’t it? It doesn’t look like a purse that a queen should carry. If I had to guess what is in there I’d say saltines. My grandmother always seems to have a stash of saltines everywhere just “in case you need a snack.” Because it’s so hard to get food just about anywhere these days…

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  11. I have no idea what’s in the Queen’s handbag! But I would think the reason one she always carries one is that a handbag completes an outfit, at least in the very traditional sense (rather like how ladies would never leave the house without their gloves in the 18th century).

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  12. Absolutely nothing is in any of her handbags. They are obviously her very own personal fashion statement must have! And if she gets sick and needs to throw up, it comes in very handy.

    I wonder if she does her own picking out of her wardrobe or does someone do it for her? A side of frumpy anyone? Actually, her evening gown is quite lovely. It’s the purple hat that astounds me, and I would think a white bag and gloves would look better than the black.

    Reply

  17. I love the title of this post!!!!
    Option A: Maybe she is a ‘The Price is Right’ gal..Bob Barker might be her Prince Charming and she wants to be on the ready!
    Or, for practical reasons: Perhaps some Depends or a ‘freshener’ for down there, of sorts…. Definitely some snacks.. Gads, think of those darn schedules and delays! Extra panties, just in case she has a discreet one-nighter (she is single and girl can only dream, right?)… Heck.. my 74ish s.mom has talked about ‘booty call’ nights with a certain gentleman friend…
    Toothbrush, mints… for those ‘hush hush’ close to your face chats with powers that be..
    And a pearl handled ‘quant’ little handgun..
    A girl must always be prepared.. no matter what her age..

    Reply

  18. When I saw the title of this post I thought you were referring to the QofE herself. I have so many thoughts about this post that I just don’t know where to begin.

    I currently carry a purse, but I hate carrying a purse. I simply ran out of pockets. I don’t have ladies in waiting to cart my stuff. I still go sans purse whenever I can.

    It seems very fiscally responsible for the QofE to buy her purses at Walmart like I do. Can you imagine the public outrage if she were to squander the nation’s wealth on designer bags while there are orphans starving in the streets and being taken advantage of by criminals who train them to work for them as pickpockets? Hey, I’ve read Oliver Twist and I am aware of the state of affairs in the UK.

    Why does she carry a purse? Well, I think it’s simply because she comes from a generation that was raised to believe that a lady always carries a purse. My granny had the same sort of notions which seem so antiquated to us. Besides, the QofE needs a spot to stash her cell phone and iPod. Of course if you’d watched The Princess Diaries, you would know that royalty is always given lessons in how to do things like stifle sneezes, stir their tea in the proper direction, and never allow their handbags to slip.

    Now for the pictures.

    Of course Dubya has that look on his face. That’s the same look any man would have while listening to some old bag talk about old furniture or whatever else. Perhaps she’s telling him about the decision to buy Walmart purses instead of designer purses and he’s thinking, “For God’s sake woman! Wear something with pockets like I do.” He’s also thinking, “No other man has to take this type of conversation from anyone but his wife and daughters. Why me? Oh yeah, diplomacy.”

    The woman in the second picture is eyeing the purse because the QofE has chosen so much more wisely than she and she is silently kicking herself for it.

    Hillary and Chelsea may be modern women in pants suits, but they are just frumpy in a more modern way. Did you notice the distance between Bill and the QofE? Clearly Bill’s reputation has preceded him, and the QofE is not taking chances.

    Finally, I am glad no one follows me around taking my pictures. You could write a whole book on frumpy, dissheveled, fashion mistakes, and cheap clothing based on those pictures. Also, since I am not royalty and have never had that special Princess Diaries type training, you’d probably catch me using the wrong fork, looking noticeably bored/annoyed/disgusted with regular folk (not to mention foreign and domestic dignitaries), pulling out a wedgie, or picking my nose.

    Dang it! I was really trying to get to that 3000 character limit with this comment. So close! Only a little more than 200 characters to go and I have to give up. There’s just nothing more to say. Except that the more I say there’s nothing more to say, the closer I get to 3000 characters. Well, so long, farewell, aufweidersehn, goodbye.

    Reply

  19. It has the map to the castle, dungeons included. Do you know how big that place is? Geesh, have a little compassion for the lady, alzheimers is probably setting in and she can’t remember a dang thing. 🙂

    Reply

  20. I think it’s adorable that she carries a purse, especially one of those handbag types. I love old ladies purses, with hankies and breath mints. Those were the days.

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  23. I actually saw a televised special once where she was taking questions from school children and one of them asked what was in her purse. She opened it up and started taking things out. I remember a hanky, but I don’t remember what else. Probably lipstick and breath mints. It was very cute.

    I always carry a purse. How can people survive without them? I thought it was the law that you had to have your driver’s license with you when you drive.

    Reply

  28. Don’t over think this… she’s a proper old woman. My grandmother had a purse just like that too, so when I was little, out of curiosity I looked inside that hard black purse with the brass closures. The contents were as follows… an embroidered hanky (which she handed to any one of us grandkids when our noses were runny, and it was scratchy), sin-sin or violet gum, wallet with usual contents and pictures of family, funky little change purse that you press to open (always change inside and a safety pin (don’t ask, maybe secretly she was MacGeyver’s grandma too). Maybe that’s all she has in their and that’s what she feels secure with? My grandmother was furious when she found looking through her contents, maybe she’s afraid if she leaves it around, she will find someone looking through her purse too. ??? Just a guess.

    Reply

  36. Is it pathetic that I actually know what the queen carries in her purse? Mints, word puzzles (I wonder if she’s into Soduko now?), a hankie, a compact, pictures and little toys/good luck thingies. No money, no ID, no credit cards– that’s the part that blows my mind. I wonder if she has a cell phone now?

    I love my purse. It’s wear I keep all my toys and candy.

    Reply

  37. *cough*
    Queen of the United Kingdom!
    *cough*
    Not just England… 😛 Actually.. she’s the Queen of the United Kingdom, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Jamaica, Barbados, the Bahamas, Grenada, Papua New Guinea, the Solomon Islands, Tuvalu, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Belize, Antigua and Barbuda, and Saint Kitts and Nevis.
    😛
    … and I love the idea of the royal vibrator and Prince Phillip’s family jewels! 😉 hehehe.

    I reckon it’s a security blanket!! I bet she hugs it to help her sleep at night.

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080203192754AAAodcl

    Reply

  41. I asked my kids what they thought she had in there and they said:
    Andy, age 14, “a gun”
    Teddy, age 12, “an inhaler’
    Patrick, age 10, “money”
    Gooser, age 5, “an iPhone”
    and Pickle, age 20 mos, “I don’t know”

    Reply

  42. I’m going with M&M’s – you need chocolate and better that it melts in your mouth, not in your hand:)

    I clicked on the link from Vanessa – that’s actually kind of cool!

    Reply

  44. Earlier this year I vacationed at a 7,000 square foot condo. It was the entire top floor of a high rise, the penthouse suite. It literally took five minutes to walk from one end to the other.

    I totally carried my purse around with me. And my laptop. And food sustenance in the event that I turned an ankle or something.

    Reply

  45. Well, if Buckingham Palace is anything like the Victoria and Albert Museum, she may need that map. I was never so embarassed as when I was trying to find the exit and it took me 3 hours to get out. I went through the same room about 4 times before a security guard finally felt sorry for me and walked me to an exit (which I probably still couldn’t find!).

    Reply

  49. I don`t think there is anything in her purses, which of course is a dissapointing thought. She carries it to look completed, as with the hat and gloves.

    She has a lipstick lady in waiting, who carries the big tube. One to carry her hanky, one to keep an eye on the prince, well, you get the picture.

    Reply

  52. My mom always makes fun of me for keeping close tabs on my purse. The reason I do it is because I’m slightly neurotic about losing it or losing something in it so if I don’t have it with me I have to constantly check on its whereabouts or else worry about it. Maybe the Queen is like me…crazy.

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  53. hold on a hot second–does your title refer to the queen or her accessory? that’s hilarious. at this point, i expect nothing less from you. 🙂
    my guess–pork rinds and a tazer. and maybe a small can of aqua net.

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  57. This made me laugh…after dating brits for the last umpteen years…current beau from Liverpool, I can assure you that it is not just the Queen that carries their bags around as such…
    But seriously, do you need to carry it with you through Windsor Castle…or how bout when you head to the barn out at Balmoral…? Perhaps she has one of those invisible dog zappers on Prince Phillip and the clicker is in her bag???

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  58. haha, I may be the only one who doesn’t think this odd….but I grew up with my grandmother and mother taking their purse to the bedroom with them at night….and no, I don’t! LOL

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  61. 1. A benzedrine inhaler, to get through a slow day 2. A little card with names of all people she’s gonna meet 3. A pack of Trident launch codes 4. A tweezer for plucking out the mustache. 5. A laser pointer to ignite paparrazi cameras 6. A remote control, to direct her entourage 7. Good charms given to her by aliens for letting them into goverment

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  62. I think she carries it because it gives her something to do with her hands/arms–a prop, so to speak. It probably holds little. (Tissues, rouge, hand lotion …) She’s probably look even more stiff and awkward without it.

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  63. I debated whether to get offended on the Queen’s behalf towards the start of this post – small warning: British people don’t take kindly to jokes about her; we’re generally pretty proud of her and get a bit defensive. Also she reminds about 99% of us of our grans – but then I got the giggles at that second photo of the woman eyeing her bag XDD. Speaking of my gran, she was exactly the same with her bag (she always kept it sat right next to her chair; and I mean her armchair, at home. Really.) A lot of people I know carry them round everywhere with them; I think it’s a British thing. Also largely an old lady thing XD.

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  65. I bet she has lots of bobby pins in there to hold the tierra. Bet she is packing a weapon of some sort too. She looks like one mean granny who dont take any shit…..no candy for the youngins in that purse…oh no.

    peace
    #2

    Reply

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