My Own Real-Life Seinfeld Episode, Revisited

I planned to write about something completely different today.  However, due to the immense number of comments and personal emails about this story I feel the need to follow up, because there is now SOMETHING to tell.

As I left this story with all of you a few days ago, I was debating whether or not to call back an old pal who had become enraged with me over five years ago.  Enraged for intolerable behavior affecting me and the Wild Boar.

After thinking about everything that had happened in the past, all the bizarre and kooky behavior, I just could not get myself to call her back.  I usually have a great tolerance for weirdness, however I have become impatient with obnoxious people who lack common sense and social skills.

I considered the great advice and questions posed by all of you and I had to agree with the majority who suggested running one hundred miles in the opposite direction.  Put a fork in me, I was done.  Also, as soon as the Wild Boar heard she had called he lost his normal “cool as a cucumber” persona.

Anyway, as much as I hoped the phone call was going to be a one hit wonder, I soon realized this blast from the past was not going to disappear.  The calls continued, without messages, but I recognized her number with caller ID. 

Yesterday I finally answered the sixth phone call out of irritation. 

This is the best I can do to recall the conversation.  I was quite livid and upset when I finally ended the call.

Me:  Hello

Nut Case:  Hi (whispering, nervous) Cathy (high-pitched squeal)!

Me:  (no emotion)  Hi Nut Case, how are you?

Nut Case:  (still squealing) I am so great!  It’s so wonderful to hear your voice!  We really miss you guys, its been too long.

Me: (confused) Yeah.  Sooooo, what’s up?

Nut Case:  Well, hubby and I are going to be in your area and we were wondering if you guys wanted to join us for dinner?

Me:  (Dead Silence)

Nut Case:  I read about this really great new restaurant downtown and thought it would be great to have dinner and catch up.

Me:  (turning eight shades of red and trying to control the tongue lashing I am about to spew)  Okay, Nut Case, I’m confused.  Do you remember why we haven’t talked in over five years?  Do you recall slamming the phone down on me after I told you about the behavior the Wild Boar and I couldn’t take anymore?  Information you begged me for but then couldn’t handle.  Do you remember that?

Nut Case:  (sheepishly, but still confident)  Yeah, I know, but you guys aren’t still mad about that?  I mean, you don’t expect us to eat food that we feel is sub-par do you?

Me: (leaping out of my skin through the phone and yelling)  Are you kidding me?  Are you?  You both still feel it is alright to send back every meal you ever order at a restaurant?  Send back every fork and knife and glass with just a water spot on it?  Do you remember when you sent back a fork because one of the tines was slightly out of alignment?  Do you remember that?  Well, I do.  I remember sitting and eating cold food while we waited for you to reorder yours.  Then you had the audacity to not offer one penny towards all the appetizers, alcohol and dessert you DID eat because you badgered the server to comp your entrees and declared your meal FREE!  Who knows how much spit I endured in my own meals because of your bad behavior at all those places.  Mostly, I’m shocked you have the balls to call and act like you had good enough reason to do all that crap.  We’re done…we are so done!

Click…I just hung up!

I was beyond crazed.  I think my heart was beating outside of my chest at this point. 

What a lunatic and self-involved dork.  The way she was talking you know their restaurant bad-behavior has only gotten worse.  I’m sure she feels my standards are so low I can eat food not prepared to perfection.

What a nut.  I can’t even comprehend this whole mess.

Post a Comment


  1. Susie 1

    I’m thinking you won’t be getting anymore hang up calls huh? Glad you said something and didn’t hold back. Obviously what you said last time had no effect on their behavior and it’s a good thing you severed all ties.

  2. Lori 2

    WOW – that is so crazy-making. The worst part of this type of experience is that it just makes no sense, and as a rational person you keep trying to get it to make sense.

    What a lunatic. I admire your courage (or even just your losing it!) in telling her the exact truth.

  3. Philly 3

    You go girl !! Way to tell her off !!!


  4. Lori 4

    I can’t believe the nerve some people have. Good for you Cathy!

  5. Cass 5

    Holy Cow! That’s incredible…both that you said exactly how you felt and that this couple actually thought you’d be “over” it. Totally worthy of Seinfeld episode.

  6. Good God. Well done.

  7. Kim 7

    Looks like she won’t be calling again. It also looks like you won’t be suffering through another embarasing meal again also.

  8. Molly 8

    Well, so now you know. Thanks for sharing, I know that we were all dying for a follow up.

  9. Sandy 9

    Good going!

  10. mitchsmom 10

    At least you were brave enough to pick up the phone, I probably would have just kept it ringing.
    Maybe it will buy another 5 years at least?? Weirdos- especially since they obviously haven’t turned a new leaf.

  11. She’s trying to weasel her way back into you life. Don’t expect it to be over. I’ve had a nutcase in my life on and off since high school. People like this don’t go away.
    Sorry to throw water on your victory, but people like this are different from normal ones. They just don’t get it.

  12. Claudia 12

    Note to self: Never, ever piss off Cathy. :)

  13. OMG Cathy….I’m laughing so hard right now. “Hi Nut Case, how are you?” I swear I almost fell out of my chair laughing at that. I have to remember that one.

    All joking aside, I absolutely understand how you feel. I’ve had people in my life like that and it’s nothing short of shocking when they act like they did nothing at all. Hopefully this will be the end of it and you won’t hear from them again.

  14. Lindsey 14

    She sent back the fork because one of the tines was out of alignment? I’d have picked her up and told the waiter: “Excuse me, can you take this back too? Her reality is out of alignment.”

  15. Greta 15

    Ok. You seriously just made me spit Folger’s Gourmet Selection out of my nose.

  16. It’s amazing how clueless some people can be!

  17. Harmony 17

    Good job!! It’s better to let things out then to hold them in. Why should you have to suffer at the hands of Nut Case?! I have a Nut Case or two, that could use a good tongue lashing.

  18. krysta 18

    OMG! I’m so sorry you had to go through this, I would have never said talk to her if I knew the story about the fork tines, that’s a whole never level of craaaazy. Seriously, tines?!

  19. Julena Jo 19

    Well….I think I would have broken my rules about etiquette and would have just eaten my meals when these people sent their food back, especially since it was such consistent behavior. Then I’d order coffee and dessert with them when they finished their meal (or before, if I wanted to be elsewhere). I’d have finally excused myself when I was finished with my meal, saying something like, “Wow! It’s been great seeing you. Let’s do this again soon!” I’d then throw my half of the bill payment on the table and vamoose. No sense eating cold food, wasting time, or wasting money. And eventually they’d figure it out, no?

  20. Julena Jo 20

    Oh, and we have a crazy in our family, too. My dad swears this gal keeps a vial containing a hair in her purse just so she can toss it onto her plate at the last minute and avoid paying for her food. It’s pathological.

  21. Funny but sad also – well done on your part! It is hard and I can appreciate the heart pounding out of the chest – happens to me when I have to “stand up”!

  22. Egghead 22

    There are some people that let’s face it, will never get it no matter what. Now go have a nice glass of wine, relax and make Wild Boar rub your back. Heck make him rub your feet too. You deserve it.

  23. {speechless} {sort of} {okay, now I’m giggling}

    I would have PAID to hear that conversation while giggling in the background.

    I NEVER have enough guts to stand up for myself that way, although I talk a great big game.

    I’m sure she has gotten the point now. And I’d like for you to crawl into my body and take over in order to end a situation I have on my hands…!

    Bravo, mamma!

  24. Bravo!!! You are my hero! This is what I wish I could do each and every time my crazy person calls me and pretends everything is hunky dorky… You are my hero!
    Wish I had big girl panties like you!

  25. I can’t believe crazy has an expiration date. So if she just waits a few years, crazy becomes eccentric and people will want to eat with her again and face humiliation while she sends everything back?! That’s really beyond eccentric!

    Good for you for reaffirming all the reasons why you and the Wild Boar won’t be dining with them in this lifetime!

  26. Lara 26

    I am so impressed that you had the presence of mind to lay it all out on the table like that! I’d have been so caught off guard that I probably would have agreed to it and then make up an excuse later to avoid going.

    This whole thing is both hilarious and sad. What is WRONG with people??? Nut Case, indeed!

  27. Elle 27

    Yay! Good for you! And for the record, it’s exactly what I would have done, too.

  28. Lindy 28

    Way to go! I’m a server, and the behavior you described of your ex-friends is something I deal with all the time. People will do or say anything to get a free meal, no matter if they are well off enough to enjoy a five star restaurant for every meal of every day of their life. People want handouts, and if they aren’t given them without provocation, they will most certainly find a way. It’s disgusting. Thank you from all servers and food staff across the board! And also congratulations for yourself as well. You so don’t need to deal with that anymore than I, as a server, do. Kudos!

  29. sharon 29

    Oooh, I’d be SO angry! How did two people with such crazy behavior find each other (nut case & her husband)?

    Just make sure you don’t dine at any new, hip restaurants downtown in the near future!

  30. Tipper 30

    Thank goodness its over! And your instinct about not talking to her-was right on.

  31. Teri 31

    In the words of my 12 year old daughter… OMG! WOW! And Cathy you are the hero of the day! You give us strength to speak our piece to any nut case’s that have to encounter in the future! Kudos!

  32. Unbelievable! What a nut case! I’m glad you finally did answer the phone. She just would have kept calling and calling. Thanks for the update.

  33. Trisha 33

    I just came over to your site from Coffee Bean’s site. I have to laught at your Seinfeld incident! Very funny!

  34. Sheesh! Nut case indeed. Good for you for saying what you think. You got to do something most of us just dream about in situations like this. I’m afraid I would have allowed the phone to keep ringing until it drove me batty and then just unplugged it, missing any other calls. Yup, I’ve done it before. I do not like confrontations, but I will speak my mind if I feel I need to–just not usually over the phone. I do not like the phone. At. All. The possibility of a phone confrontation makes me want to hide under my desk and suck my thumb.

  35. Alisa 35

    So, I guess that’s a no to dinner with her and her husband? You should really learn to be a little more clear when dealing with nut cases. They can be quite dense sometimes.
    Good for you! People like that need to be hit over the head before they can even begin to get a clue.

  36. Fran 36

    Now you need to closed the book on the friendship and put it in the “TO BE SHREDDED” stack and never think about it again. Life is too short!


  37. Teri 37

    ha ha ha… me too! Like I said, Cathy you’re my hero. Can we forward all nut cases to you?

  38. So, if I understand this correctly…you didn’t end up making dinner plans with them?

    Just kidding. Well – at least you got it off your chest. Some friendships are better left in the past.

  39. ALF 39

    Wow – I didn’t catch the original post (I’ll have to go back and read it) but that sounds like one serious nut case. It just makes to want to scream, WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? That’s how I feel about certain people. Here’s hoping she doesn’t call you back!

  40. It is hard to believe that anyone could be that obtuse. At least you have severed that relationship and won’t be having to deal with it anymore!

  41. Stephanie 41

    Yaaaaaaaa Cathy!!! I’m so proud of you. Maybe some of it filtered down into her head. and by the way….I’ll be in your area in a few months……:)

  42. Steph 42

    Good for you! She deserved that!! I can’t believe she called you after 5 years! Hopefully she won’t call again.

  43. laura 43


  44. grace 44

    i think it’s safe to say she won’t be calling back…

    good for you! i wouldn’t know you if i saw you, but i’m feeling some major mamma-bear pride right now. :)

  45. She must be an oblivious person to just brush aside the previous argument. She had to have seen this one coming, but you never know. I’m sorry you had to feel so stressed just over a call…I think that is sad. She ought to be ashamed to do that to you.

  46. Wow! That’s pretty funny.
    She probably called her husband right away to tell him you’re crazy.
    I sincerely hope you haven’t had any spit in your food because of her, but you never know.

  47. Lucille 47

    “The calls continued, without messages, but I recognized her number with caller ID.” That’s just creepy. Maybe a little obsessive. What that what she was like when the two of you were pals? Sheesh. You poor thing.

  48. melissa 48

    I was thinking the same thing, about the calls. I mean, you’d think she’d get the hint that you didn’t want to talk to her after not picking up the first 5 times.

    You go, Cathy!! That was a great speech. :) We all deserve to stick up for ourselves like that.

  49. Chuck 49

    Did you find out the name of the restaurant first? I know that my day is ruined if I am the last to know about the grand opening of the latest Chili’s or Macaroni Grill in my area.

  50. jules 50

    You knew what you were getting into when you answered the phone…I think they need a dose of their own…Call you favorite restaurant and tell them the story of your friends…get them in on it…go to dinner with your friends and act as your friends would and stage a really big scene between you and the restaurant staff…something so obsurd that your friends would sit there with their mouths hanging open. After the meal the restaurant should present the check for 3x the amount for the meal…including emotional and/or mental stress caused by your behavior….Of course another outburst from you for the check would be the icing on the cake….Make sure you have someone filming this so you can post it on your blog the next day…oh I wish I could be there!!

  51. So wish I had nerves of steel like you.

    Bravo! Very well done, Cathy.

  52. Flea 52

    You. Did. GREAT!!! Congratulations! Life’s too short.

  53. But now you know two things you didn’t know before.
    1. What she wanted
    2. She is still crazy
    You don’t have to think about it. You can now forget it.

  54. Everything else aside– I am just so impressed that you said your bit and didn’t hold back. I cannot believe of all things to call you for, a dinner date?!

  55. Incredible followup – handled perfectly, Cathy!!! PERFECTLY!

  56. leslie 56

    you go girl!!!

  57. Wow. That couple is way above my level of understanding. Good for you for giving her the whys and hows. I probably just would have said, “Oh when will you be in the area? Oh shucks, that’s when we’ll be on our six month vacation to Timbuktu and then our annual tour of Nepal. Too bad!”

    Yours is much better.

  58. I didn’t comment on your original post because I was so disgusted by your former ‘friends’ behaviour and didn’t want to swear on your blog.

    But now I want to say – Good on you Cathy. That woman is clearly a nut job and you are perfectly right to purge her from your life! Sometimes things should never be forgiven ;)

  59. marye 59

    Man..I didn’t know she knew YOU guys, too! LOL

  60. I personally think you guys should have went to the restaurant with them….but wait before you think I’m a psycho Sally….then I think you should have ordered the most expensive thing on the menu…and dessert…then you both should have snuck off to the bathroom..and ran out the door and ditched THEM with the bill!!! lol

  61. Wow you are good!
    I probably would have just said, sorry, we are booked for the entire time you may think of coming here, plus all your alternate dates.
    You earned on of my special drinks!

  62. medstudentwife 62

    I could be too evil to say what I have to say about this woman.. sick is the nicest.

    But isn’t it great to have a cathartic moment… there are times we really need them & damn the fall out because its the fall out we want (to end of pain…)

  63. WOW! That is a crazy story. Hope for your sake that it is truly “the end.” My best guess is that they find themselves lonely as everyone has grown tired of the fiasco so they reach back into the past to find friends.

  64. Shirley 64

    Fantastic job, Cathy! You got it all out. You weren’t shocked speechless, as I might have been. You were actually very kind describing them in your first post now that you’ve let a few more details slip out about their wacko behavior. And, “nut job” doesn’t even do her justice!

  65. giz 65

    Remind me never to piss you off.

  66. Marcy 66

    Wow, love the guts you had that that tongue lashing called for. I have a similar situation with my cousin. I havent’ spoken to her in anything other than a HI when necessary in like almost 4 yrs! She is uppity , thinks she is above all and everyone else and I called my mom the other day while she was talking to HER and my cousin said oh yeah, tell Marcy hi and tell her to call me next time shes at your house.umm can we say, no freakin way??? UGH, since the fight originally started over comments SHE made about MY husband, I’m not even going to tell him, he would blow a fuse….
    have a great day cathy!

  67. What a fruitcake! From a server’s viewpoint- a nice rolling of the eyes will clear you and will set you apart from her. That shows that you know that she is being a pain and can’t control the way she acts. Just in case you are ever in that situation again.

  68. I. Am. Stunned. Maybe I am not – there are some seriously stupid folks out there – so sorry you had to revisit all the crap.

  69. Liz C. 69

    I’m so glad to hear you gave her the verbal finger, as she so well deserved. Weirdness is one thing, but wacko is entirely another. It’s not just that she’s wacky, but they both are. I’m sure that must be 3 strikes out. Way to go girl!

  70. sassy 70

    So, has the Wild Boar been sweet as pie since that call? You go Girl!

  71. Jill 71

    Just when you think the nut cases are all gone, they reappear on Facebook. Watch out for that – it’s practically inevitable!

  72. KathyB. 72

    I have been reading your blog for awhile and love it ! Everyone I recommend it to loves it too! So, I am so glad you answered your whacko ex-friends’ call and after all this time completely CONFIRMED you were right in the first place !!! You know the old saying, ” with friends like these who needs ….’
    Anyway, now you can rest assured, we are all with you! Blessings and success with your new journey in Oregon making one of my favorite beverages…wine ! KathyB.

  73. positively certifiable. The fork tines were out of alignment? Did they sit there with a calipers and check it? How did you manage for as long as you did?
    If she calls back change your phone number. A locked facility would be in order, with hosptial food and no special diet requests. Maybe the Wild Boar could help with the admission, you know danger to others. You cooked for these people. I’m not surpised really, you have to have a brass set to act like they do.

  74. I totally know people like this. They’ll threaten the waiter with their tip then after getting extra attentive service they’ll leave a couple bucks on a $100 meal. If I try to leave a bigger tip, I’ll get lectured on why you shouldn’t “overtip”. It’s so embarrassing eating with them I always find myself “busy” when they want to go out. Kudos on having the balls to stand up the Nut Case and telling them what you really think.

  75. Jules 75


  76. cassie o 76

    you go girl

  77. jill 77

    She sounds like a real treat! Good for you!!!

  78. I’m guessing she called you because they needed someone to pick up the tab for their appetizers and drinks!

    Hopefully they are out of your life forever now. But you never know. Crazy is as crazy does.

  79. NO WAY!! I’m sorry you had to deal with her again, but I’m SO PROUD of you for standing up to her! WOO HOO!! GO CATHY!! (I’m sorry I’m a bit late to the comment party. As you know, I’ve been out of town and am just now catching up.)

  80. Y 80

    I had wondered how it would turn out, after reading your original post about her. Can’t imagine what she was thinking!

  81. Like my mom & dad always said, people are slave of their own when cooking at home. Who can they “bioche” at? Once, they eat out, these people forget to the same manner they have at home and aim to make restaurant people and their dining companion’s life miserable.

    Cathy, I am glad you stood up for yourself. Friends come and go in life. It’s a common thing. But great friends who value your friendship will never do anything like that to embarass you, take advantage of you and make you feel unfortable being around them. And that’s why they no longer are considered friends to you.

    Funny thing, last night I watched “Waiting”, the comedy movie. I am sure some restaurant servers would not tolerate their behavior !! Save your aggravation and should watch this movie for a good lauch.

    I should send them a copy of this movie.

  82. Wow. She sounds…unpleasant.


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