I Have This Theory…

Well maybe it’s not as much a theory as a generalization about the population.

I have this tendency to lump people into categories.  Compartmentalize them.  Put them in tiny boxes wrapped up in ribbons and paper and stash them on a shelf until I need them.  It makes it easy for me.

I like figuring out who you are and then lumping you into one of my meaningless categories. 

People, oversimplified.  Yes, that’s for me.  The oversimplification of the populace.  The citizens.  The general public.  The nation even.  The community and the inhabitants of the world!  Okay, I’ll stop.

But this generalization I speak of is not so deep in meaning.  In fact it serves no one, except for my unending curiosity about why people like certain things and what their preferences are. 

It is neither profound nor intricate nor mysterious.  It does not even require a far-reaching intellect. 

My theory, I’m sorry to say, is low in situation, does not extend far below the surface (of anything) and truly lacks great perpendicular dimension (of any kind).

It is only the abyss of my mind looking for answers about things that no one really cares about.  Except for me of course!

So here it goes…now that I have your attention. Or maybe I no longer do.

I seem to notice three groups of people…those who are red wine drinkers, those who are white wine drinkers and those who do not drink wine at all.  Profound and shallow I know!

Of course, there are those of us who go both ways (with red and white) but there is always a preference.  The wine we reach for first.  Our go to color.

However, what interests me is not the color of wine you gravitate towards but what your preferences are as a red or white wine drinker or not a drinker at all; specifically, when it concerns coffee or tea and chocolate. 

Yes, this fascinates me.  I think about it.  Mull it over.  Talk to people about it who then shrug their shoulders like they could care less.  That hurts me.

I know what you’re thinking here.  My mind is a cavernous hole but I’ve never promised you the logic and rhetoric of Aristotle.  So let’s move on.

It is with my keen observation those of you who are red wine die-hards seem to also be enamored with coffee (usually black but not always) and dark chocolate (at least 70% cacao). 

The white-winers prefer tea and a lighter chocolate.

Hmmm, is this true or just a phenomena occuring in my little, sheltered world?  Does this generalization reach further out into the universe than I imagined?

I am losing sleep over this presumption that I have burdened myself with.  It’s a heavy load; I am only so strong.

So my question to you is…

Red Wine Drinkers…do you adore coffee and if so, do you take it black or with cream and sugar?  Is your chocolate dark or do you reach for the milk chocolate?  Maybe you hate coffee and love tea and gasp, I am wrong?

And for the White Winers…Is it tea or coffee?  Would that tea be chai, plain or with milk?  If it’s coffee, how do you take it? And chocolate, which side of the spectrum do you fall?  Dark or light?

For the anti-Wine crowd…are you a coffee or tea drinker? And chocolate, which hue do you prefer?

For me, I gravitate to the reds.  My coffee is always black and the darker the chocolate the better. 

I’m looking for a pattern.  Maybe there isn’t one.  Maybe there is.

But whatever the answers may be, I will then be lifted from this gigantic, encumbering burden of wonderment I now carry.

Please help.

Post a Comment


  1. Geri 1

    Well well well..what do we have here? lol I’ll have to say I’m both right handed and left handed throw that into the mix…lol. I like white wines that are fruity not too dry for drinking. Being Italian I do lots of cooking with the reds such as Chianti and Barbara etc. I’m not a milk choc. fan more into the darker ones. Now what was the question? LOL…and it’s 5:28am nothing by mouth this time of the morning…so you see I’m one of those mixed up babes. I don’t think I fit into a category just in my own little box with bows of course.

  2. Tipper 2

    I don’t drink wine-but I love coffee, tea (southern sweet tea) and any kind of chocalate. If I had to choose it would be dark. Love the pictures of the snow and the red shoes are awesome even if you do only wear them in the barn!

  3. Dawn 3

    I am a Whine Winer! I love only Tim Hortons coffee and if I can’t get that, then I also love a nice cuppa tea…Orange Pekoe with a tiny bit of milk and two sugars. Coffee is always a large, one cream, two sugars. As for chocolate, it MUST be milk chocolate or white chocolate…dark chocolate is GROSS!!!

  4. Well you’ve hit this nail on the head…so to speak..? I am strictly a white wine drinker, and I had dark chocolate. There is a scientific reason for it though…triglycerides – MAJOR migraine trigger. All the women in my family get migraines at the drop of a hat. I noticed many years ago, when I was living in the SF Bay area and drinking a heck of a lot more wine than I do these days, that red wine really set off a migraine. These days, just a sip of read and I swear I can feel things shifting in my head, all the little gnomes moving the marbles around, gearing up for a migraine.

    Dark chocolate – same thing; also some cheeses.

    I do drink coffee, these days in my middle age, I use a soy creamer. (MAN I’m old…)

  5. philly 5

    Red wine drinker, the dryer the better.
    Coffee with a splash of vannilla cream.
    Chocolate, light

  6. Meant to say, I hate dark chocolate…not HAD dark chocolate…

  7. Oh good grief this is what I get for not proofreading, and for posting too early on a Sunday morning…with a cat in my lap. A sip of RED not READ. Sheesh.

  8. No compartments here…
    I’ve not developed a taste for reds, likely never will since I keep trying them and making the same face!
    I love whites and not just Chards.
    I like the dark chocolate, the darker the better.
    I’m currently drinking a very nice French (dark) blend coffee. A sprinkle of sugar (not even a tsp) and a dab of milk.
    I do like teas however. Chai is good as is green tea, black tea and herbals. But I’ll ALWAYS hit the coffee first, dark roast.

  9. I’m sorry, did you say “anti-wine” crowd? Whathafug is that??

    As usual, you’re a genius. I prefer red wine, my coffee black, and dark chocolate. Interestingly enough, when I’m feeling really gluttonous, I drink white wine – and tons of it – before ordering something fried. Which can only be washed down, of course, with some light-ass milky chocolate.

    As for tea? That’s for sissies.

  10. OH! GREAT observation… I am a red wine drinker, and I prefer Merlot, Cabs and a Red Zin.. all rich, dark, meaty wines. No fruity stuff.
    Coffee??? I LOVE fresh ground coffee beans, with espresso beans, in my french press, and 1/2 and 1/2 with my coffee – but, have been drinking green tea for a special diet – hogwash… I love coffee… I will have some today, thank you!
    And my chocolate you ask?????? DARK! I love chocolate truffles..with red wine..
    I think you are so right in this observation…

  11. I like both red and white. I reach for red in the cooler months and white in the warmer. I love coffee and take it black. But I love lattes too. I love tea of all sorts, nothing in it. And the chocolate: has to be milk.

    I know, I’m eclectic. ;)

  12. We don’t drink wine very often. In fact, I don’t drink alcohol much at all. One or two drinks may only make me slightly tipsy, but that amount can make me very sleepy the next morning. When I do have a drink, it is most often a Jack and Coke. Dh prefers beer or Scotch. I do like wine, it’s just not the alcoholic beverage I think to buy and I am so completely overwhelmed about which wine to buy when I do try to buy some.

    Back to your question. I prefer red wines, coffee with two sugars and plenty of cream, and milk chocolate (or white chocolate which is not chocolate at all). I do not like dark chocolate and I am addicted to my coffee. Dh prefers white wine, black coffee, and I think he can go either way on the chocolate though he prefers chocolate covered caramels. He thinks white chocolate is disgusting.

  13. krysta 13

    I’m here to throw your generalizations way off!

    Really don’t care for wine. Champagne-the drier the better. Veuve Clicquot Grande Dame would be nice!

    Chocolate-dark and bitter, like me!

    Coffee-only in a latte or mocha

    Tea-hot, milk and sugar…iced tea…black, if you add sugar, I’ll throw a fit.

    Mayo… in guac!!!!???? what in the… that’s a culinary sin! i will stay awake for days trying to find a way to fix this grave mistake…

  14. Interesting thoughts. I love both reds and whites, but if I HAD to choose a preference I would choose red. I don’t care much for any type of chocolate though, and I don’t drink coffee, so I suppose I don’t fit your theory! I do like white wine though and I do like tea, and I prefer milk over dark. That somewhat fits with your theory!

  15. Okay, I’ll play!

    My favorite wine is a riesling (white, obviously) followed closely by a shiraz (red, obviously).

    Chocolate of any kind is awesome, but I prefer the dark stuff.

    And, I hate coffee. I love the smell but can’t handle the bitter taste. And, yes, it’s ALL bitter to me, regardless of how much floof is added.

    For hot teas, I prefer it straight, and for iced teas, I prefer an Arnold Palmer (1/2 tea, 1/2 lemonade).

    I’m not sure where I fit into your matrix. :)

  16. Liz C. 16

    I love both red (prefer red though) & white and drink light coffee, sweet. I prefer milk chocolate. The hubby drinks red & white (prefers red though) and drinks black coffee, sweet. He loves the dark semi-sweet choclate. Just some more statistics to further confuse you.

  17. Mrs. L 17

    Red Wine
    Coffee (usually latte)
    Dark Chocolate (lots of dark chocolate)

    I’m going to start paying attention and see how many of my friends and family fit into your generalization! (my husband certainly does).

  18. I used to be hardcore red (shiraz or cabernet sauvignon) but as I struggle with sleep if I drink red wine past 5 pm, I am slowly switching to white. I like darker chocolate with nuts in it. Otherwise, never mind. I prefer robust coffee with cream and honey. So for the most part, you are right. That is very interesting!

  19. I reach for the whites always. Chards, but mostly pino grigio’s. I love my coffee, with half & half. Rarely drink tea, but when I do it’s any kind of tea: chai is good, orange pekoe, green, peach. As for chocolate, I prefer the dark side, but not too dark. Maybe I was a red wine drinker in a prior life?

  20. Jessica 20

    I don’t drink wine. I drink tea, and I like dark chocolate.

  21. Lorena 21

    Delurking to slot myself firmly into category A.

    Red wine all the way (local australian shiraz or cab), strong coffee and lots of it (short black or latte, depending on how much of the aforementioned red has been consumed) and the darkest chocolate I can find.

    Love your blog – the recipes are delicious and hilarious! And you’ve got me very excited about your vineyard adventure! Thanks for sharing it with us.

  22. Liz C. 22

    Sorry for the double post, but I’ve tagged you for a meme (although it’s a no-brainer). Cheers!

  23. jean 23

    I don’t drink wine of any color. I don’t drink coffee. I will drink tea (hot or cold). And I absolutely prefer dark chocolate. I can’t stress that last part enough!

  24. pam 24

    Sorry, I don’t fit your generalization. I drink both reds and whites, but will reach more often for a white, especially sauvignon blanc. I love coffee and chocolate, both dark and strong. I drink tea only because it is the hottest health news right now.

  25. Maureen 25

    Hmm…I can’t believe all the non-wine drinkers. I guess they don’t know what they’re missing. :)

    Red is my preference.
    Coffee, daily, black please. Chocolate -dark. I can’t stand milk chocolate.

    I guess I fit the theory to a T.

  26. Let’s see…

    I prefer red wine, coffee with cream and sugar, but I like tea as well, especially green tea. As far as chocolate goes…I adore milk chocolate and I will eat dark chocolate as long as it’s not too dark. I had an 86% dark chocolate once and it tasted like dirt. It was fairly nasty.

    Oh! I made your peanut butter banana chocolate chip muffins this morning and took them to my cousin’s engagement breakfast. They were a huge hit! They were so tasty and good! You’re right…I’ll never make another muffin again!

  27. Dawn 27

    Ooops…I meant WHITE winer, not Whine winer…well, I guess I am a bit of both then. LOL!

  28. Hmm… so were will you put those of us who don’t drink wine but love to cook with it. I eat wine but I don’t drink it… :)

  29. Traci 29

    I’m a red wine drinker and a dark chocolate eater, but NO COFFEE for me (Pepsi is my preference)!

  30. Krissy 30

    Catagorize me in the nut box. That’s where i belong!

    Trust me!

    Good post!

  31. I’m not a wine drinker. If I have go that route at all it’s going to be a spritzer of some kind, or horrors, a cooler.

    I prefer fruity cocktails. I don’t drink beer either.

    I don’t care for dark chocolate or coffee. It’s too bitter for me. I need my drinks cold and sweet (if it’s not water) and my chocolate milky.

  32. I am most definitely RED WINE. I love coffee, but when I am done dressing it up, it usually is more like a dessert. I LOVE dark chocolate, but not TOO dark that it is bitter. I actually like white wine, but it can’t be too dry.

    I think you should take this a step further. What type of personality traits do you think subscribe to these wine preferences?

  33. Red wine, on the sweeter side.
    Coffee – strong – like my men, but with creamer and sweetness.
    Chocolate, I like it dark, like my… never mind. Dark chocolate… is there any other?

  34. robin 34

    red wine, milk chocolate, and chai tea. it looks like you have your work cut out for you looking for a pattern in the pile of responses you got!

  35. I drink red wine, black coffee, and eat only the darkest chocolate I can find.

    Just put me right there in that box.

  36. Egghead 36

    Well you really rather nailed it. My husband drinks reds, the darker the chocolate the better and he drinks his coffee black.

    Me I prefer white, tea and milk chocolate but I don’t drink much wine simply because I have a raging migraine for day afterward….must be the sulfites.

  37. kate 37

    i don’t drink. if i did, i’d drink white, because duh. i’d spill it. i drink coffee. all day. sweet and light is my fav. chocolate…milk, but i like to pretend i like dark because it seems more sophisticated.

  38. Stacy 38

    I almost always go for red. I like some coffee with my cream, and I detest dark choc. Milk all the way baby.

  39. Molly 39

    You may already have a good sampling here, but here is my two cents. You are absolutely correct if you are talking about my husband. Red wine, dark chocolate, black coffee, though he also likes a good cup o tea. Me, I like both red and white, recently a good oaky, buttery chardonnay seems to be the wine of choice, though I used to really like cabernet, it hurts my stomach some times. I love coffee, but it has to have cream and sugar, also love tea, Chai also with cream and sugar. With all of this cream and sugar, you will not be surprised that my choice in chocolate is Milk chocolate. I assert that I defy the box! LOL

  40. i am definitely on the red side and/or the other beverages (like whiskey, on the rocks. or vodka, on the rocks).
    that being said: there had better be something spectacular about any chocolate coming near me that isn’t dark. keep all white chocolate at a safe distance and there will be no barfing noises.
    as for coffee, the older i get, the less cream and sugar i put in. i do however loooove hot tea. green, ginger…i don’t think i could ever do without either tea or coffee.

    your theory seems to be right on track!

  41. Brooke in WI 41

    no wine, no coffee, no tea. Rereading that, I sound rather boring. I’m a milk and water girl. Chocolate, nice and dark. yum!!!

  42. Steve 42

    Our database of wine drinkers certainly supports your diving people into 3 groups. Very few of our members have evenly balanced reviews of whites and reds.

    I’m a red wine drinker, mostly. And I drink a lot of black coffee – usually about 8 cups of regular, and 14 cups of decaf in a day. I’m not really a chocolate fan though. I prefer milk chocolate that is not especially dark.

  43. Grace 43

    I love white wine, dark chocolate (86%). I don’t drink coffee (quit over 4 years ago). I drink rooibos tea (yum!) straight up.

  44. Theresa 44

    Red wine, black coffee, and dark chocolate. You have me pegged.

    In fact, I am drinking red wine as we speak.

    My friends and I refer to white wine as “What you drink when you’re out of red.”

  45. Sarah 45

    Red wine, very bold coffee with just a splash of milk, darkish chocolate (although I don’t turn down milk chocolate when it’s all that’s around the house)

  46. Stephanie 46

    I’d rather have a nice dark fruity read to drink, cooking-wise, red is for the red stuff-meat, sauce-and white is for light stuff-chicken, pork, fish. Beer is for pizza and fried yummies. I’m living in Texas, so that would be almost everything! As far as coffee goes, I like sweet coffee, good sweet coffee (organic, small farm green Kona which I roast at home, and grind) and I will drink unsweetened iced teas. I am a contradiction. Chocolate, well the answer to that would be yes. Any type is fine. I like Hershey’s but then I also like See’s and Ghiradelli. I grew up in San Francisco.

  47. Kara 47

    Wine – red and dry
    Coffee – black or w/ a little cream (not milk)
    Chocolate – darker the better

    Wine – none
    Chocolate – milk preferred

  48. Xani 48

    -Red wine drinker, big bold reds like Cabs and Merlot.
    -Drink my coffee as black and as strong as I can. When possible espresso.
    -Dark chocolate all the way.

    Only ever tried white wine once and never really liked it.

  49. nanette 49

    i don’t drink wine…love coffee with milk but strong, and strongly prefer milk chocolate to dark…

  50. Miranda 50

    You’ve pegged us right on the head. Deep red, black coffee, dark chocolate. I prefer to think of us as a passionate breed.

  51. dawn 51

    Definitely a great summarization… I love a great syrah… and a great zinfandel… I love love love DARK chocolate… I am not so much of a coffee drinker… I try to keep my coffee intake to a minimum because I like to rely on the pickup of the high caffeine content if needed… I do not want to dull the effects of the caffeine… OMG am I an addict to the point that I deny myself just so i completely feel the full effect?????hmmm the judge is still out… but i love love love that you vented… we need that sometimes for sanity’s sake


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