A constant battle I’m having with my kids is teaching them to not interrupt adults when they are talking. Regardless of my constant reminding, threatening and outright pitiful begging of them not to compulsively bust into every conversation, they still consistently disregard my requests.
I’m pretty sure this a universal topic among parents EVERYWHERE and believe me I would welcome any advice to help STOP this very annoying behavior anytime soon!
However, the other day when I was speaking to my oldest hooligan’s pediatrician my son would not stop pestering me.
Oldest Hooligan: Mom, mom (tugging on my shirt) I need to tell you something!
Me: Honey, I’m talking to the doctor right now, you’ll have to wait.
Oldest Hooligan: But Mom!
Me: (losing my patience, feeling mommy-zilla coming on) You need to stop.
Oldest Hooligan: Mmmoooooommmmmm! (hitting my leg)
Me: (now beyond livid) If you don’t stop you will have to go to your room when we get home.
Youngest Hooligan: (chimes in, very, very loudly) But Mommy, he’s just trying to tell you that you have a giant booger coming out of your nose!
Me: (covering my nose, wanting to run out of the room and at the same time trying to act like that was never said)
Hooligans: (in unison) We tried to tell you.
Now, the giant, boulder-sized booger is in my hand as I try to nonchalantly finish the conversation with the doctor. I’m sure he’s wondering if I was going to throw the booger on the floor or wipe it on the wall. Yuck! So gross, so embarrassing. Of course the kids are now asking, “Where is it? What did you do with it?” Ahhhh! I could have just had a heart attack right there.
Now I have to change pediatrician’s. I’m sure he told his wife, his co-workers, the gas station attendant and anyone he saw that evening that he is forever scarred from the attack of the giant booger lady!
Moral of the story…I guess I need to learn the urgency in the kids voices. But how am I supposed to know that ”Mmmooooommmmmm” translates to ”there is a booger the size of China coming out of your nostril”. Where was that in all the parenting books? I guess I should learn the shriek for, “there’s toilet paper coming out of your pants”, that could serve me well at some point.