Booger Assault

A constant battle I’m having with my kids is teaching them to not interrupt adults when they are talking.  Regardless of my constant reminding, threatening and outright pitiful begging of them not to compulsively bust into every conversation, they still consistently disregard my requests.

I’m pretty sure this a universal topic among parents EVERYWHERE and believe me I would welcome any advice to help STOP this very annoying behavior anytime soon!

However, the other day when I was speaking to my oldest hooligan’s pediatrician my son would not stop pestering me.

Oldest Hooligan:  Mom, mom (tugging on my shirt) I need to tell you something!

Me:  Honey, I’m talking to the doctor right now, you’ll have to wait.

Oldest Hooligan:  But Mom!

Me: (losing my patience, feeling mommy-zilla coming on)  You need to stop.

Oldest Hooligan:  Mmmoooooommmmmm! (hitting my leg)

Me:  (now beyond livid)  If you don’t stop you will have to go to your room when we get home.

Youngest Hooligan: (chimes in, very, very loudly)  But Mommy, he’s just trying to tell you that you have a giant booger coming out of your nose!

Me:  (covering my nose, wanting to run out of the room and at the same time trying to act like that was never said)

Hooligans: (in unison)  We tried to tell you.

Now, the giant, boulder-sized booger is in my hand as I try to nonchalantly finish the conversation with the doctor.  I’m sure he’s wondering if I was going to throw the booger on the floor or wipe it on the wall.  Yuck!  So gross, so embarrassing.  Of course the kids are now asking, “Where is it?  What did you do with it?” Ahhhh!  I could have just had a heart attack right there.

Now I have to change pediatrician’s.  I’m sure he told his wife, his co-workers, the gas station attendant and anyone he saw that evening that he is forever scarred from the attack of the giant booger lady!

Moral of the story…I guess I need to learn the urgency in the kids voices.  But how am I supposed to know that ”Mmmooooommmmmm” translates to ”there is a booger the size of China coming out of your nostril”.  Where was that in all the parenting books?  I guess I should learn the shriek for, “there’s toilet paper coming out of your pants”, that could serve me well at some point.

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  1. Cute story… have you tried examples?

    “unless there is a booger the size of china coming out my nose or my hair has burst into flames… do not interupt me.”
    Then when they do you can pat your head and ask “Is my hair on fire?”

  2. Hallie 2

    I HATE that this happened to you but I can’t stop laughing!! They DID try to tell you Mom!! :)

    Bet they will remember that moment for a long time too! How often does Mom have a GINORMOUS boogie hanging out her nose?

    link to

  3. I guess my favorite story about this matter was the child who responded, when told not to interrupt:

    “But Mom, I HAVE TO interrupt to talk!”

    That may have been said to my Aunt Marcella, who was once described as having a speech impediment; namely, that she had to stop talking to inhale.

  4. Kate 4

    I don’t think there’s anything to be done as a parent. Kids think that everything’s an emergency! That’s why we all have these great stories to tell at cocktail parties. And to blog about!
    Good one.

  5. That. Is. Too. Funny.

  6. Oh no!! Claire is the only one that will tell me when I have a booger in my nose. (She’s two.) Her father always rolls his eyes and says, “No.” without even looking! ;)

    Yes, I have a complex.

    Claire, like your boys, has no problem telling anyone anything, especially if it involves boogers.

    Thanks for the laugh!

  7. Pam 7

    This is too funny!

  8. Stephanie 8

    I can only wait until my youngest (20 months) actually joins his brother (5 going on 15) on telling me all the wonderfully obvious things.

  9. dawn 9

    I am laughing so hard I need to blow my nose now.

  10. Laura 10

    Our family code for a booger sighting is, “You have bats in the cave”. Great story.

  11. Because my husband and son scuba dive, our code term for errant boogers is “dive buddy.” Only a dive buddy lets you know that you have boogers after a dive (which is a common occurrence) … everyone else just laughs at you without comment.



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