Ashes, Ashes, We All Fall Down


After another day organizing paperwork, I can finally report I have twenty-two separate piles of highly organized tax receipts…with totals!

Tonight they will be on a plane to Oregon to reach their final destination at the CPA’s office. 

I am so happy to have them out of here.

Tax time can be so stressful, and it only seemed fitting that while I killed myself getting it all together the Wild Boar and I discussed death. 

More specifically, how we wish to be buried.  Taxes bring out the best in us.

We both agree we want to be cremated.  I have always had this completely irrational fear of being buried in the ground.  I just don’t want to be in there.  I know, I’m dead….but I just don’t want to be in the dirt with the bugs.

Plus, I’m too practical.  I really dislike how families are often guilted into purchasing elaborate and very expensive coffins in times of grief.  It’s wrong, wrong, wrong.

I’m happy to be in an urn, and not one of those crazy expensive ones.  Just a classy silver one.  Would it be wrong to pick it out myself?

However, I don’t want to be sprinkled somewhere.  I think.  I want to be on a mantle. 

However, what happens after generations pass and no one who knew you is even alive?  I’m guessing you get shoved in a closet or worse…the trash….GULP.

I know, I’m dead.  Who cares.  I just don’t want to be in the ground. 

The Wild Boar wants to be sprinkled.  I’m not sure I could pour him out.

I’m a pack rat.

What I Was Carrying On About One Year Ago Today:  Well-Witchin’ The Vineyard

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80 Comments

  1. Hilary 1

    Hi Cathy .. just having to pay taxes is quite a good thing?! Paper work = awful .. but perhaps the ‘resolvement’ of your ideas for the last chapter is a good thing?

    I’d like to be cremated and just quietly buried in an urn that will disappear over time .. in a lovely quiet Cornish churchyard amongst the ferns, the wild plants and just melt into the landscape.

    Peaceful thoughts on a sunny morning
    Hilary: Positive Letters

    Reply
  2. Betty 2

    Hi Cathy,
    Taxes over & done with for another year. Thank you! I don’t want to be in the ground either. I guess I need to be over my fear of fire too. I’m with you, I’ll be dead, won’t know or feel a thing. I think picking out your own urn is a good thing. Can’t imagine sitting on anyones mantle though. Humm.Ok Peaceful thoughts, dreams.We won’t feel a thing. It’ll just be peace.
    Have a blessed day,
    Betty

    Reply
  3. What an apt discussion while doing your taxes…you know the old cliche’, there is nothing certain in life but taxes and death”, how true, how true.

    I discuss my death with my husband reminding him I want him to throw a big party and have fun….and to NOT spend much on the burial…no fancy coffin or markers….because my body or ashes might be in the ground but I am not there!Just the shell that housed me needs disposing of.Ahem, excuse me…the shell that housed me needs a final resting place…yeah, that’s the ticket!

    I am not too concerned about how my remains are taken care of, I just don’t want it to be too expensive or inconvenient for my family…and anyway, I won’t be around to worry about it !Cremation works for me….

    Reply
  4. We too want to be cremated, and now we need to get a will drawn up to have that specified. I don’t know if it is nationwide you need it in writing, or if each state decides, but here we have to have it in writing. My Dad and stepmom are being cremated, and are being buried with thier dog. I told him I didn’t want him on my mantle. I want to be spread in a few different places-the ocean, the woods-places I love.

    Good grief-happy thoughts, hapy thoughts

    Reply
  5. Hmmm, this really gives me something to think about. What to do?

    Reply
  6. I got the creeps when I read the title of this post on my reader, and now I know why! Hello morbid thoughts before I’ve even had time for coffee! Ha! :) Actually we had a meeting with our accountant last night and he pretty much told us that we have to start thinking about wills and all the fun stuff like that. I’m 25 and my hubby is 30 – I can’t believe we are already to that point! It’s actually a good thing that you know what you want and have a handle on the situation.

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  7. I am in total agreement with your “After” thoughts! I told my hubby – I want my urn prominently displayed on the mantel for the next wife to always see! A girls got to do what a girls got to do!

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  8. deeba 8

    I am SO rushed for time today but I just HAVE to stop by. Yes, I’m all for ashes, but not sure on the mantle. Heaven knows what becomes after a few generations who didn’t know me, & wouldn’t care! I’m with wild boar; sprinkle me, put me back in the Earth. I have another take too, which the hub knows & applies to both of us. Donate all or any organs that may be of use to anybody first; that’s more important for me! You touched a chord in my heart!! xoxo

    Reply
  9. Donna 9

    I think I would like to be put in one of those things above the ground –the name escapes me this early. Stone front, off the ground, not under the dirt.. Im getting chills talking about it.. I need my coffee.

    Reply
  10. Debbie 10

    My taxes are done and I am sooo glad!! I am with you regarding being cremated. I don’t want to be in the ground either. I am claustrophobic. I want my ashes scattered on a beach on Long Island where I grew up. A friend of my mom’s recently passed away and he also wanted to be cremated. Well he cracked me up when he told my mom to just flush his ashes down the toilet!!! Oh my God – can you imagine??? Of course that DID NOT happen…but I thought the comment he made was hilarious!

    Reply
  11. I want to be cremated also. I dont’ see any sense in taking up space with my dead body.
    But I don’t want to be sitting on someone’s mantle either. Just dump me in the ocean and say good-bye.

    Reply
  12. Barbie with a T 12

    Very strange combination of subjects today on your website, but I can relate to both subjects. There are only two things in life that we have to do…py taxes and die. Congratulations on getting your taxes together. We have already received our refund. Generally we never get a refund, but because of the hurricane losses, this time we received a refund. That really inspired us to get our information together early and get it in the mail! On the subject of cremation, there are good reasons to go that route. My husband wished to be cremated and upon his death his wishes were carried out. The savings with cremation vs. a casket burial are phenomenal. Being that he was not expected to live much longer, I also had a pre-arranged funeral which is another savings. At the time of a person’s death, it is such a difficult time, it is such a relief to not have to worry about details, and with a pre-arranged funeral, every detail is left up totally to the funeral home. They were given directions previously, and they carry out your requests as planned. One phone call to the funeral director and that is about the extent of it. And with cremation, you do not have to bring clothing to be buried in. In cremation, the body is wrapped in newspapers to be cremated. They do charge for the newspapers, and I was told that I could save even that fee if I brought them the newspapers (but I declined as it was such a nominal fee). I was not familiar with cremation before that time and it was a great learning experience. I never knew it, but those ashes are heavy! They are not like the fly about ashes that you get in the fireplace….It is bone heavy. (The funeral home also loaned me an urn, so there was no cost for the urn). The ashes were presented to me in a very heavy plastic bag, and placed inside of a black box. According to my huband’s wishes, I took the ashes, and scattered them in the Gulf of Mexico, as we lived on the beach at that time. When I die I also want to be cremated and scattered in the Gulf of Mexico. To me, cremation is the way to go.

    Reply
  13. You are too funny – though you have some valid points here ..taxes and burying….death to taxes I say….and keep us alive…

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  14. Scate 14

    Heavy for a wednesday morning blog reading. But it is the unavoidable – death and taxes. Like many other things in life – you can really do what you like, but will your wishes be carried out – or remembered – or will you be remembered? The question remains – how will you live your life today to be remembered – to leave a legacy – to make some kind of mark on this world.

    thanks for making me think about something this fine morning!

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  15. Cremation makes the most sense to me, too. And, even though my husband has always said he didn’t want to go that route, he’s slowly changing his mind. For one thing, he absolutely hates going to funerals and seeings caskets (especially open caskets). And, he would never visit the grave of someone else (even his father) … he says that person is not there, so what’s the point. I don’t want to be in an urn though. I think you become a burden/weird thing for someone else then. Being scattered some place you love does sound like the best to me.

    Shirley

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  16. I’m now thinking of Ben Franklin’s quote “In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes”

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  17. Taxes & death?
    What a lovely subject for a Tues a.m.!

    I did my taxes early March, I want to know what I owe. No vacation for me this spring!
    and, I too, want to be cremated, scattered about!
    What’s on for Wednesday? Yeast infections and glaucoma?
    Stace

    Reply
  18. I just hope that whatever they do to me they make sure I am really dead. Yikes! I am under medicla paper work right now. They make everything so difficult don’t they? It was the year of my everything. Pap, mammo, stress test, blood work, etc! I guess I am getting old, ha!

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  19. Come down to Louisiana, we don’t bury our dead (they tend to float). Most everyone goes into mosoleums, either family tombs or big wall-type ones.
    Yeah, that was a surprise to me when I got here (being a SoCal girl).
    I do have a very detailed plan for my hubby (we did it before he deployed the first time), but I’m not sure what I want. I have issues with bugs, but I have bigger issues with burning! Ack!!

    Reply
  20. Marcy 20

    Chris and I have discussed this too, he wants to be cremated and sprinkled in CO. somewhere… haven’t thought about it too much for me… I guess cremation would be ok – i won’t be here one way or the other anyway:)

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  21. Definite cremation on this end. This was something we discussed whilst we were dating because I happened to notice that a lot of Brits opt for this rather than full burial. They also tend to inter the ashes too.

    I’ve been through a totally heartbreaking funeral that no mother ever should and I don’t want my kids to have to deal with choosing coffins, picking out plots, and all the other details. Just toast, roast and toss me out over the Atlantic somewhere. Somewhere it’s legal to do that anyhow.

    So um yeah, toasting and sprinkling for me. And now, I oddly feel as if I’ve just described my final physical moments on earth like something you’d do to garlic Parmesan bread. *lol*

    Reply
  22. melissa 22

    I too have a big fear of the cold hard ground. I hate money scams. I want to be in an urn on the mantle if I die young so who ever my husband brings in the house after knows I’m watching from the mantle. Of course she’ll probably spill me on the floor and sweep me up. up…

    Reply
  23. I never wanted to be burnt, then ground into small particles…(you know the bones don’t turn to ash). Plus, it’s a comfort to the family to visit the grave…maybe not at first, but as time goes by, it does become a place they can go to, to feel like they can “visit” mom, dad, grandpa, grandma…and I like the fact that the tombstone will be there awhile to attest to the fact that, indeed, I did live here on the earth. I want something clever on my tombstone, and that’s what I need to come up with.
    Good post!

    Reply
  24. I’ve told my husband that I want to be cremated and I want my ashes buried under a tree. That way I can return again and again as the seasons come and go.

    Reply
  25. Marjie 25

    Our lawyer beat us into redoing our wills for our 30th anniversary. Yeah, nothing says romantic like discussing your own death. As for me, I’m going into the cemetary just over the hill, in a mahogany box with white velvet, under a stone that says “Beloved Wife Of…” My husband’s family had an uncle who was lost to the mists of time after only 40 years because he was cremated. It’s only known what he did because I hired a researcher to find him some 70 years after he died. I don’t want to fade into oblivion like that.

    Reply
  26. Laurie 26

    Congrats on getting the taxes done! Interesting topic today. My husband and I discuss/argue over this issue. He wants to be cremated and have his ashes spread in his favorite places. I’m from a family that visits cemetaries. Creepy, but true. I think they’re peaceful and I have to admit I want a cushy casket for the big dirt nap and I’d prefer it if KG was with me under a nice solid headstone and not blowing in the wind somewhere. I hope I die first so these decisions are left to me…

    Reply
  27. dawn 27

    In life, death is a necessary subject, as it happens to everyone.

    The good things about taxes is that if you had a lot stuff and a complicated situation, you know you made a lot of money…GOOD FOR YOU.

    My husband and I made our death plans too…cremation is our choice. He wants the mantle, I want to be sprinkled in the mountains.

    Good post and yeah for the taxes being over with.

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  28. I can go to local cemeteries and trace my family back 150 years. But I want to be cremated and sprinkled on the waves at Cannon Beach. I love the ocean and like to travel, so there you have it.

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  29. Joan 29

    Coincidentally, I watched Bonneville last night: Jessica Lange, Joan Allen and Kathy Bates star in this road trip yarn, which follows three friends on a journey across the West after one of them is widowed. The sister of her late husband wants his ashes buried next to his first wife, her mother, while the widow says that he had wanted his ashes scattered. Will problem. After a threat, the three friends decide to deliver the ashes. Along the way, they learn a thing or two about themselves, one another and life. Drives home the themes of friendship and female solidarity, benefits of current will and letting wishes be known to all. Awe-inspiring landscapes of the American Southwest. Carpe diem!

    Reply
  30. Ashes here, but the kiddos can decide where to sprinkle me. I hope it’s someplace pretty and warm;)

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  31. Katie 31

    After reading the book Stiff by Mary Roach, I’ve decided I want to be composted. They freeze you, break you down into tiny pieces, and then plant a memorial tree in your honour using you as the fertilizer. By doing this, my family will have some place to visit (as they would a grave), but I am also returning to the earth in a constructive way (do you know how many chemicals leech into the ground after embalming! Terrible!).

    If I can’t be composted, I’ll be cremated. And I’ll ask for my remains to be sprinkled in a place I’ve always loved.

    All this, of course, after I’ve donated my organs!

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  32. Fear of burial here. I’ve given the kids instructions. Cremate, then I get one to five years on the mantle so I can see what’s going on. Then sprinkling.

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  33. Katie 33

    My husband and I want to be made into diamonds. So much less creepy than the urn!

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  34. krysta 34

    yea for taxes being done…

    weird as this sounds when i die i want to be cremated also but i have a plan that my kids will take a road trip together and dump me off- oops i mean sprinkle- me in a few special spots… all illegal of course…

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  35. krysta 35

    you can be made into diamonds?!!! my plans might change knowing that.

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  36. tipper 36

    I want to be creamated-and sprinkled! I don’t want my kids to have to worry about visiting my grave or taking care of my ashes either. Glad you got your taxes organized and sent off!

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  37. While I thought cremation was more practical I never really thought about what happens to you over the years. What you get passed down through the generations to someone who thinks the silver urn is really tacky and they didn’t know you anyway and just tosses you? Eeewwww. Sprinkling my ashes in a place I loved would be the best I think. Why’d you make me think of this? Oh, yes, death and taxes…the certainties of life.

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  38. Bob 38

    I don’t think it would be wrong to pick out your urn. I plan on picking out my headstone (even though I plan to be cremated too) just so I can make a coffee table out of it. Course, I have a pretty dark sense of humor. 😉

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  39. Howdy 39

    I hear ya… I don’t want to be planted either and opt for the Ashes to Ashes routine – however I’ve been pondering a few places I’d like to be scattered… I’d like to have some of my ashes scattered across a field of bluebonnets in TX, I can’t think of a better way to spend eternity than to be laying in a field of wildflowers! Then I’d also like to have some of my ashes scattered in the ocean off the Hawaiian Islands where the whales swim… another cool thing to spend eternity doing. Maybe some others I haven’t finished pondering on. But certainly not in a jar or box on a shelf… risking an encounter with the vacuum…. Yikes!

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  40. Leslie 40

    it’s funny you brought up what happens after generations pass, because i was just thinking about how there are so many people buried in cemetaries, and no one is even alive anymore that knew who they were, or that they’re in the cemetary or anything. it seems like such a waste.

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  41. It is absolutely not wrong to pick the urn out yourself. Your uneasiness about the ground is pretty normal – my sister feels the same way. Personally, I either want a green cemetary or cremation. I don’t like the lead-and-cement lined vaults, nasty chemicals, etc.

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  42. Biz 42

    It’s so good to have this conversation when you are alive! We got to ask our Dad his wishes. We bought a cardboard casket (rented one for the funeral) and he was cremated in that.

    As for his ashes, he always loved the water and his dream was to buy a sailboat and sail. Sadly, neither his income or health allowed him to do that.

    He did in September (10 years ago) and the following summer our whole family rented a sailboat and sprinkled him in the sea. I believe he would have liked that!!

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  43. Tanya 43

    I love that my husband does all of our taxes. I don’t think I could handle it!

    My husband’s brother was cremated and his ashes weren’t spread anywhere. Instead, half of his ashes were put in an urn and given to my mother-in-law and the other half were put in an urn which was placed in a small display case in a mausoleum.

    Long story short, my mother-in-law LOST the urn and it seems like rarely anyone visits the mausoleum. It’s kinda sad. So if I’m ever cremated, I hope to have my ashes spread over a place I loved.

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  44. Cathy,
    I don’t think it’s wrong for you to pick out your urn. Maybe you could inscribe it with you “Noble Pig” logo or a wine bottle as well as your name.

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  45. Gabrielle 45

    This is a wonderful conversation and one everyone should have with their families. It is selfish not to discuss death and leave the stress to people who are left behind with grief. Adults and level headed people makes plans.

    And yes funeral homes take advantage of the greif stricken, it’s terrible.

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  46. There is always the option of believing in eternal life and receiving a brand new body. That’s what Jesus did when he raised from the dead, he conquered sin and death.
    I wish for pity sake that HE would have conquered taxes too. On the subject of taxes he just said, “Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s”. Then he had Peter go catch a fish and pull the coin from it’s mouth. I could use some of that ability. We always have to pay too, except not this year. When the Obama tax hikes get implemented we may all just wither up and die. And now take away the right to garden? You better check this out it may affect winery’s too HR 875 and S 425.

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  47. Jenni in KS 47

    I want whatever is the cheapest and greenest option for my remains. If I’m cremated, I’d like my ashes scattered here on our land. If I’m buried, I’d like to be buried here on our land or in a very small, very remote country cemetery with a tree over my headstone. I’d like a simple marker even if I’m cremated. If I am cremated I don’t want anyone to keep my ashes; that’s a little creepy. I like the idea of my body going back into the soil in some form and feeding the earth. It seems very poetic. Besides, I don’t want some great great grand niece in a quandry over what to do with my ashes.

    We just attended a family funeral yesterday. Here’s what’s on my mind about funerals since it is probably not safe to share on my own blog. A funeral is not the place to convert people or to preach your own beliefs to spite some family members. It is also not the place to try to work out your own confused theology in front of grieving family members. Work out what you’re going to say ahead of time and practice to get the names right. Do not go on and on beyond what is decent just because you love the sound of your own voice. For God’s sake(!), do NOT bounce between ignoring the son who has been a bit of a black sheep and hinting at his troubles during the eulogy!!!These things are torture to the family. Although I have never gone to seminary, I’m pretty certain publicly torturing a grieving family is not one of the duties of a pastor.

    When I die, I hope my eulogy will be thoughtfully written and blessedly short. I hope my life will be celebrated and fondly remembered. In addition, I have asked my family to make it very clear that whoever writes/delivers the eulogy does not use the phrase “rocked her world” in any sense, not even once, and certainly not five times. And, please, keep the euphemisms for death to a minimum.

    Whew! Sorry for the rant, but I feel much better now.

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  48. My husband wants to be cremated. I want a party and a pyramid like the pharoahs.

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  49. LilSis 49

    Congrats on getting the paperwork to the CPA! I’m not quite that far along yet! I’m sure my CPA will be thrilled to receive everything just days before the 15th!!

    Unfortunately, this past year, we had to have some lengthy conversations about cremation and what is appropriate to do with the ashes. My brother in law passed away suddenly and there was quite a debate on what to do with his ashes since he did not have a will. Bottom line, even if you don’t have a will, at least have your wishes in writing in case other family members have different ideas of what should be done with the ashes.

    I, too, have never been able to live with the thought of my body in a box in the ground with bugs! I always thought I wanted my ashes to be scattered over the ocean. But after I lost my dad,we had the unpleasant experience of looking through a catalog to pick the urn. After seeing a “shell shaped” urn that actually dissolves after it is in the water, I decided that’s what I want. (Probably in Maui!)

    Great Post! You obviously got alot of people thinking!

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  50. I think it’s good that you’ve discussed what you want done with your remains after you die.

    I too want to be cremated, and although I’m really leaving the ultimate disposal of my ashes to my loved ones discretion – I think that being sprinkled somewhere is nicer than being in an urn in someone’s house. But, that’s just me :)

    What do I care? I’ll be dead.

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  51. Alisa 51

    My dad is a Mustang collector, we always teasingly fight over who is going to get which Mustang, the one I picked is the one he wants to be buried in. I’ve told him I’m fine with that, really though, I’m going to cremate my father and put him in the head of one of those bobble head chihuahuas and drive around town with him on my dash. I really think he’ll like that better.
    At least until The Kids start driving.

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  52. annbb 52

    Ashes to ashes here…and I figure after my grandkids are gone, no one’s really going to know – or care – I was ever on this earth, so whatever happens to my ashes…I don’t care…I think…

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  53. erin 53

    I think the diamond thing is rather creepy, and who can really guarantee that you’re genuinley in the diamond anyways?
    I’m much more a fan of the cremation. I’d love to be tossed off a pier or a cliff into a lake where fish snack on me. Strange I know, but I kind of like the idea of reincarnation and the circle of life connection.

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  54. Our taxes–two business, plus personal–are due Friday and we haven’t started. If I kill myself getting it done, I want to be cremated, too!

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  55. Lo! 55

    I’m in agreement about cremation.
    As for taxes… yes, they make us think of death too. Two of the only certain things in life, after all :)

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  56. pam 56

    Burned and sprinkled for me.

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  57. Mrs. L 57

    Well, believe it or not, I actually am in the cremation business :) so if you have any questions, feel free to send them my way!

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  58. mrhc 58

    My dad and I had this conversation almost every day for the last 6 months of his life. He really wanted to be buried in a plain pine box-no embalming because of pollution to our land and waterways-but he wanted cremation if the pine box wasn’t an option (it wasn’t in our state). He made sure that I knew what he wanted even though he told mom the same thing every day too. My mom and father-in-law were cremated too and we have instructions to cremate my mother-in-law when her time comes.

    The dads’ ashes were heavier than mom’s ashes. We got the ashes back in corrugated boxes (known as cardboard to most of us). We skipped the urns and just buried the ashes at the plots that were bought more than 30 years ago when the folks all thought they were going to be laid out in caskets. So glad they changed their minds. Much easier to go to memorial services for our young family rather than a funeral with an open casket.

    We are going the cremation route too. Cost and environmental considerations sealed it for us.

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  59. GP 59

    wow i’m actually stressing since i’m waiting for the completed returns from our CPA so i can assess the damages and send em on yonder… And much like death, no one makes it out alive :) I think a glass of chardonnay might be on the docket

    GP who will be sprinkled in the adjoining creek

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  60. Julie 60

    I completely agree. It sickens me to think how much money people waste on funerals. It really shouldn’t cost that much to die…it’s a racket i tell ya. Me and my hubby both want to go the cheapest way, and I want to be sprinkled somewhere nice :)

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  61. Laura 61

    I agree wholeheartedly about being buried. UGH. But I’m with Wild Boar on the other part–sprinkle me, please. Preferably at the ocean.

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  62. Flea 62

    That last line made me laugh. :)

    Maybe 30 year from now you’ll change your mind and want to be sprinkled in the vineyard.

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  63. Kyddryn 63

    These days, there are so many things one may do with cremains – scatter them, yes, but also: have a portion made into diamonds, have them shot into orbit (Timothy Leary is up there!) to eventually fall to Earth, burning up in the atmosphere and becoming part of it all, or even have them made into reef balls that can float singly or in groups and create habitat for marine life. They can also be made into glass art (blown glass) and concrete sculpture.

    In the future, we’ll be able to choose a composting option that will permit our loved ones to plant fruit-bearing trees over us or make us part of the garden.

    And one may always donate one’s body to science and all the weird and wonderful stuff THAT entails!

    Yes, I know entirely too much about this.

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K (who would like to be cremated and be placed in the blower unit of her son’s AC so he has to dust her up all the time – pay back’s a bitch!)

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  64. kayola 64

    I am always amazed no matter what you post on you get TONS of comments! You have certainly been doing some deep thinking haven’t you? How sad to be shoved in the closet and forgotten…with the comments you get…I really don’t think you’ll be forgotten you have such a huge following!!!! EVERYBODY ♥’S YOU!

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  65. Agreed. The ground creeps me out.

    And I say, pick out your own urn. You can’t trust other people to have good taste. In fact, I might borrow your idea.

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  66. Rebel 66

    Sittin’ on a mantle for 30 or 40 years then passed on to the next generation and then……who knows maybe flushed down the toilet!

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  67. nina 67

    Cremated for me thanks and please do not put me on a mantle piece. My youngest sister died and we sprinkled her ashes over the lake/river where we always have a family holidays!!

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  68. Great post, as always. We had the discussion recently and decided both that we would get an urn.

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  69. Elyse 69

    Haha, you crack me up! What an appropriate conversation after I just had a 2 hour wills & trusts class today!

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  70. Debbie 70

    Must be something in the air. We had our taxes done on Tuesday and yesterday I was working on my will and living will.

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  71. Heavy topics – taxes and death! :) Taxes are going out this weekend – I swear! – to the accountant.

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  72. Ruth 72

    right now there’s a hindu campaigning to have burial laws in england changed. he thinks he should be allowed to be cremated outside on a pyre, not in a crematorium. im kind of with him, i like the idea of a viking-style cremation on a raft. but i dont know the scientific stuff, could it spread disease? would the body hav to be tested or would there be a limit of how many bodies per year can be burned in the open?

    but really, it doesnt matter to me. a funeral is for those who are left, not for the dead.

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  73. imom 73

    I like asthmagirl’s plan to sit on the mantle for a few years then get sprinkled. At this point in my life, I’m not sure where I would want to be sprinkled though. I’m definitely NOT getting buried.

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  74. nancy 74

    i will be cremated, my remains put in a plastic bubble and with other remains dropped into the pacific ocean. the thought, of cremation used to frighten me,but if i am for sure dead, i am okay with it and perhaps my ashes will feed a hungry fish.

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  75. Sassy 75

    My Husband and I are going the cremation route also. I do not want to be buried in the ground, it`s to creepy for me to comprehend.

    Both my parents were cremated. My Father first, Mom kept him in her closet for several years untill her death. She would occationally get angry that he had gone and died on her. ( as if it were his choice!) My Mother was a very spontaneous woman, so when i would sense her anger at my father for dying, i always worried she`d be mad enough to toss him into the trash, so i`d have to gently ask her, ” Mom, is Dad still in the closet?” I was always relieved to see him when i`d search her closet.

    When my Mom Died, i took them both and scattered them at a beautiful spot where my dad went every spring to watch the suckers (fish) spawn. ( I will apologize to my Mom for that at a later date!)

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  76. Kate 76

    Cremation is the way to go! A friends mom picked out her urn but there was a problem and the design she had wanted was not available when the time came. So prepurchase might be the way to go, LOL.
    Scatter me, my Husband want to be in plexiglass and on the mantle. Yeah right.

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  77. That last line is pure perfection!

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  78. Melissa 78

    Makes me think of my dad. When we got his box of ashes, I just thought “wow.” I mean, it’s amazing how there you are one minute and the next minute you’re dust.

    Sorry. Deep.

    But that’s what I want too. Scatter me at sea!

    Reply
  79. Paula 79

    I think it’s a wonderful (albeit odd) thing to plan out your funeral wishes ahead of time. It makes it so much less difficult for an already grieving family … none of the “do you think she’d like that?” or “what do you think she’d want?” to have to answer. As for me, the thought of being buring underground gives me the willies. I’d much prefer to be above ground in a masoleum. And any plain little box will do. :-)

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  80. sometimes the idea of death, even natural old-age death, makes me panic and think crazy things like “i want to be frozen so they can bring me back to life when they figure that one out” …and in reality, cremation and burial are both sounding awful to me, but im leaning towards cremation

    Reply

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