I can pretty much say, I had a very strange weekend.
But I have to say the highlight of my weekend happened Sunday. I didn’t pick up my mail on Saturday so yesterday I walked down to the box at the end of the street to retrieve it.
Inside I found a random little gem addressed to me and the Wild Boar. I don’t believe I’ve ever laughed so hard in my entire life.
This message was printed on a plain piece of heavy cardstock. It looked like an invitation. But it wasn’t.
I tried to take a picture of this priceless piece of work but the script is printed in silver and came out almost white when photographed.
The announcement is from an old, old acquaintance from Los Angeles that we really only keep touch with during the annual exchange of holiday cards.
Here’s how it read, hold on to your coffee…
After forty-seven years of riddling in pain,
I’ve finally decided to legally change my name.
Life is too short to live with something you don’t like…
Please don’t get me wrong,
I like who I am,
But the name Sheldon, no thanks mam.
I needed something else that fit me to a tee,
So I’ve chosen a new name
And I know you’ll agree
That “Chip” is perfect for me!
Please refrain from calling me “Shel”,
Use the name “Chip” and we’ll still get along swell.
I waited till Ma was dead to not break her heart.
A shel(l) is a part of the sea,
But has never been a part of my heart.
Dearest friends, please update all correspondence with my new name.
Also, please refer to me as Chip in person.
I know this is asking a lot but it’s something I wanted to do for so long.
Please support me in this.
I’ve struggled for a long time to finally go ahead with this decision.
Can I just say, I have never laughed so genuinely and whole-heartedly for a very, very long time.
“I waited till Ma was dead, to not break her heart.” Is he seriously kidding!!!!!!
He should have hired a PR firm to come up with a more polished jingle for his big debut.
Does this seem like something a 47 year old man, attorney, husband and father of four should be sending out? If he sent this to us, friends on the far outskirts of his life, then you can guarantee he sent it to everyone he knows. I can only imagine what people are thinking.
Can you even contemplate working in his office or being one of his neighbors and getting this in the mail? The next morning would be so awkward.
His poor wife.
But maybe having an identity crisis is better than a midlife crisis?
However, here’s the thing, this guy is TOTALLY a Sheldon. He looks like a Sheldon. Acts like a Sheldon. Laughs like a Sheldon. He is in no shape or form a hip “Chip”.
I wish I could post his picture because YOU WOULD AGREE WITH ME 100%.
I must say though this small piece of mail made my day immensely. I think I released many, many happy endorphins laughing all day.
There must be some type of planetary alignment that’s causing the crazies in people to surface.
BRING IT ON! I can’t wait to see what happens today.