It Hurts Me More


While I was pregnant with my first hooligan I bought him a very fluffy and soft blanket I fell in love with at the Baby Guess store.

Overall, the blanket was simple but there was something about it that just appealed to me.

When preparing the nursery, I placed the blanket on the bottom of the crib, over the sheet, to make the crib mattress more comfortable.


Here’s my hooligan laying on the blanket.  He’s only six days old.

This blanket became his most treasured possession.  This “blankie” has been to every market, store and restaurant I can recall.  It has traveled to Jamaica, Belize, the Caymen Islands, Mexico and Hawaii.  It’s been on planes, cruise ships, trains and Disneyland rides.

The problem is, the blanket is now 8 years old, and it’s a WRECK.

Here’s the hooligan eight years later with the blanket.  It’s literally ripped to shreds and has turned to a shade of off white.

Gone are the days of the soft, jersey-like material I used to wrap him up in, the pale blue patterns and sunny-yellow ducks have all but faded.

The blanket doesn’t leave the house with us anymore and is just something in his bed when he sleeps.  It’s appears as if it’s been on a combat mission that has served many tours.

However, here’s the problem.  My son is telling me to just throw the blanket away.  He says it’s ruined and he’ll just use another blanket now.

Whaaaaaaaa?  The blankie I gave you when you were a baby…throw it away…in the dirty trash can?  Is he kidding?

You have no idea how sad this makes me.  It stings to the bone.  I never thought I would be this sentimental of a Mommy.

Apparently, I am way too attached the blanket. 

Does he not realize how I have lovingly cared for this blanket for so many years?  How many airports I have carried it through, never to be checked with luggage that had the potential of getting lost?

“Just throw it away Mom”, he says.

There are no words for how much it hurts me.

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48 Comments

  1. My baby Augie had a lovey. It was a thermal receiving blanket that had been bleached to shreds. He would cry all day if you took the last threads and washed them because it wouldn’t smell the same. Yuck. Then one day, we were coming home from a vacation, and he turned to me on the plane and said he thinks he left his lovey in his bedside table in the hotel. I think I was way more upset than he was that the phase was over. He was 7. I feel your pain, girlfriend, I feel your pain.

  2. Awww. That is one well-loved blankey. I think I would tuck it away for a little while. Just in case there is a relapse.

  3. My wife saved all three of the blankies of our kids, and gave then to them as adults, and they were grateful for that.

  4. Howdy 4

    As a quilter my first thought is that you could keep it by updating it. Use it between 2 new layers of fabric and have it quilted and new binding added.

    I’m happy to see you’ve washed it – lots! When I was working at a quilt shop a woman brought her 7 year old daughter in with her ‘quilt’… OMG it had never been washed… it had been everywhere AT ALL TIMES with this child and it was GROSS. I had to go wash my hands after they left it was that bad. Now that was a quilt I would have thrown out.

    If you’ve got a sewing machine and a little time you could do it yourself… or send it to a machine quilter and pay to have it done. You got lots of love invested in that quilt already.

    email me if you have any questions

  5. Liz C. 5

    In the deepest, darkest corner of my closet, I have been hiding blankies, binkies, & bears for many years now.

    😉

  6. You know what I would do? I’d get some fabric I love and COVER it to make a NEW blankie!!!!

  7. Don’t throw the blanket away!!! I save ‘these favorites’ in a storage dealybop in my closest…. First cowboy boots, cute onsies, etc… I think they will be ‘priceless’ to share with our kids when they become parents!!!!

  8. krysta 8

    I’m with everyone else… save the blankie! He’ll be grateful later on as an adult. Or do like Howdy said and update it and wait until he has his first child, then give him the blanket… there won’t be a dry eye in the house that day!

  9. Daisy 9

    I’m so impressed with your son! He sounds pretty mature. I also really like the idea of quilting the old blanket into a new one – allowing things to evolve allows them to stay relevant. My mom quilts with any piece of fabric that even the most remote sentimental value. Good luck!

  10. Kathy from NJ 10

    My favorite oldest nephew (now a father, himself) had a beautiful yellow thermal type blankie with satin edging. It stayed under his pillow after he (almost) outgrew it. I know you won’t throw your son’s away.

  11. Jules 11

    These life hurdles can really get to us, they say our little ones are growing up and that we did a good job allowing them to grow…Take his blanket and tuck it away somewhere safe, save it for him when he comes to an impasse in his life to remind him that if at 7 he was brave enough to give up his most treasured possession, then he can handle what ever life throws his way;)

  12. My first thought was to tuck it away in your box of treasures, but then I read the comments about using it to make a new quilt, and that sounds like a good idea, too!

    And, remember…it’s not the blanket you’re attached to, it’s the loving feelings and memories that go with it. Just because the blanket is worn out and your boy wants to throw it away doesn’t mean he loves you any less or that your feelings aren’t important. (I know you know that, but sometimes seeing it in print can help the transition process…) 😉

  13. It’s so awful when our children tell us things like. I have a bunch of gorgeous dressed my daughter wore when she was little. I can’t get rid of them, but she says I should because she “needs the extra room for my real clothes.”

    If I were you, I’d keep the blanket somewhere. Put it away in a box or space bag, then give it to him when he gets older. I think he’d get a huge kick out of it when he grows up. :)

  14. Marcy 14

    My daughter never became that attached to a blankie, but I had a teddy bear, given to me when I was little. All fluffy white and soft. By the time I was a teenager, she had no fur, sewn shut eyes , button nose and no mouth. That is how much I loved the bear. She had been washed, restuffed numerous times. I think my mom still has her, wrapped in tissue paper in her closet.
    On a Valentines Day about 6 years ago, my husband said he had a surprise for me. It was a huge balloon stuffed with a solid white fluffy, furry teddy bear inside. My mom had showed him a picture of my bear before I literally had loved the stuffing out of her. I now hardly touch this bear for fear of hurting it, but that was so sweet of him to do that:))
    Just take the blanket away, wrap it lovingly in tissue paper, and put it in your closet. When he is older he will aprreciate it, even if he doesn’t now.

  15. I would save it. Like MPM, my oldest had the thermal receiving blanket with the satin edges. I worried that she might get married with it draped on her head. She left it at my dads and I had him keep it for years. She just got it back a few years ago and it is a keepsake for her now that she’s 26. I don’t know if that’s different for boys, but I would still keep it!

  16. Don’t.throw.away.the.blanket.

    Put.the.blanket.down and walk away slowly..

    No really. If you store it away for know you will be glad you did, and so will he one day.

    My boys have blankets too that are beginning to fray and that already makes me so so sad…

  17. Diane 17

    Clean it very carefully.
    Dry it very well.

    Put it into a plastic bag and seal it up. Wrap it inside an envelope or box and store it safely in the attic.

    Keep it forever. So that when you’re long gone and he’s sorting through your stuff he’ll find it.

    Put a note in it telling him how much you love him!
    And a photo of him with it.

  18. Kiki 18

    I second the attic suggestion. There’s a yellow fuzzy thread bare feetsy Winnie the Pooh pajama deal in my attic. I couldn’t handle parting with it either.

  19. Teri 19

    We are moving and decided to go through all of our garage boxes. Our 12 year old daughter was in the mood to throw all of her “old” things out. Cherished baby clothing, toys, etc. We ran across a picture of her with her blankie. Then… there it was, the BLANKIE… she said, awww it’s so cute, but it’s time to throw it out Mom! Cut me deep, why don’t you!!! My husband put it aside carefully. I choose to save it. I will pull it out again one day when she graduates college, then she can make the decision.

  20. Flea 20

    Don’t let it hurt you. It’s normal. What I’ve learned to do with my kids is to tuck those things away for six months. When I bring it back out, I often get a very emotional reaction and a re-claiming of object. If not, I have to determine how much it means to ME. Whether or not to toss.

  21. Don’t throw it out! Save it. Maybe you’ll want to look back on it one day? Maybe you’ll want to give it to him when he has his first child. I don’t know.

    I actually don’t believe you WILL throw it out, but I needed to make sure. :)

  22. Just stick it in a closet somewhere. Pull it out when he has his first child. I have an idea, how about adding another hooligan to the family? Maybe you would get a pink one but another son would be fine too. A new baby is much better than an old blankie. I’ll make a blanket for your new baby. I love it when good people are politically incorrect and say to the 2 kid rule,…PISHAW!

  23. Krissa 23

    I read your blog every day, and I love it! I haven’t left a comment before, but this particular blog struck a nerve, and I felt complelled. I am Lisa’s sister- I have 4 kids and am in the process of moving. Here’s the thing- in my cleaning and packing up of the house, we’ve come upon items I have fished out of the TOILET, driven to the supermarket to retrieve at 9 pm at night, called the airport’s lost-and-found about, and driven MILES to friend’s houses at ungodly hours to find. And you know what?? I come to find out that these once-treasured items should be in the “We’re not taking this with us to the new house” pile. Nice, huh?? It kills me.

  24. Lori 24

    No matter what you decide, definitely save those pictures up there – so cute!

  25. HoneyB 25

    I bet most every mother knows the “blankie” thing w/ their kids. My oldest son had a blanket that was a hand knit one from a lady in our church. He was a thumb sucker and he would hold the fuzzy blanket under his nose while he sucked his thumb. He carried that blanket for the longest time – and it was way bigger than him! I have memories of my uncle chasing him in the yard to try and catch him and the blanket dragging behind him! That blanket all unraveled and is long gone, but my youngest still has his (and he is 21!)

  26. Save it! Pack it away in acid free tissue and give it to his (gulp) wife when he gets married. It will be a sweet reminder of the baby he was and every rip and hole is a testimony to the love it recieved.

  27. Jill 27

    I’ll never be able to throw away my son’s ratty teddy, even if he begs me to!
    What a handsome, grown up boy :)

  28. Karly 28

    My daughter has a favorite blankie and pillow that go everywhere with us. As much of a pain as it is, I will be heartbroken when she gives that up. But, I definitely wouldn’t throw it away. I’d even have a hard time making it new. I’d have to save it. Heck, I’d maybe even sleep with it. LOL.

  29. I’ve had three boys, and each had a blanket. The youngest, now 16, wore his out exactly like your son has and I have it in a bag in his memory box. Then one of his older brothers felt sorry for him and gave him the one he had. He still has it and won’t let me wash it. Ewwww. Find a lovely box for the blanket that has so many memories and keep it somewhere special…

  30. Shannon 30

    Sitting here reading this post brought tears to my eyes. I have 4 babies and each one of them, I have something that they have since outgrown but I just cannot bear to get rid of. I know first hand how much it hurts when they say that they want you to throw something so sentimental away. At their tender age, they don’t realize the memories attached to each and every flaw with their blankie, toy, etc. It’s the moms that never forget anything. All the memories behind it. Don’t get rid of it and don’t throw it away. While your little ones are growing up so fast, keep it for yourself. You will always have it to remember. And, gulp, when the “empty nest” comes (I pray too that it’s a LONG TIME away), maybe then, you will need your child’s blankie to cover and protect you, and your precious memories. This was a very heartwarming post. Have a wonderful night.

  31. Lori 31

    oh how I remember those days – the wrenching away of childish things, so painful, and a preparation for wrenching to come. i always think it’s a good thing kids go through various kinds of … well, jerkiness … while they’re teenagers, otherwise we’d never be able to let them go.

    a big hug from one mom to another.

  32. Flea 32

    Oh! I made the million dollar peanut butter cookies today. We all liked them, but we all agreed that next time I’ll put a couple of chocolate chips in the center of each peanut butter ball before wrapping.

  33. MuzzyBlue 33

    I, like so many of you, have four kids and have saved many things from each of their childhood days. My youngest two boys each had what they ended up calling their “nice.” They are close in age and the nices started when they were still young enough to take daily naps. In hot weather they still liked to be covered with something when I tucked them in, so one day I grabbed two clean crib sheets and make them comfy, saying, “Here’s a nice sheet to cover with.” It stuck in the elder boy’s head for some reason, and that’s what they each called them from then on: Nices. Not blankies, but nices. The oldest still has his; it can be found balled up ‘way inside his pillowcase. My youngest boy no longer has his and doesn’t care. But I still have an “awwwww” moment whenever I change that older boy’s bedclothes and see that ratty old crib sheet. In that instant, I’m right back there, when they were 4 and 2 years old. They are now 20 and 18. Sigh.

  34. What a unique way of sleeping at 6 days old!

  35. I just wanted to share with you what I had to drink last night. The local winery (http://www.tarawinery.com) had their 1 year anniversary party. In addition to this…
    Gone with the Zin (American Zinfandel)
    A spicy full bodied red dark wine with intense depth that pairs with bold foods such as grilled steak, lamb, dark chocolate, and even sushi. This is Tara’s best selling full bodied, hearty red wine.

    I tried this…

    Texas MADEIRA

    100 % Jacquez grapes, grown in the Gulf Coast Region of Texas. Made using the traditional “Estufagemâ€￾ (es too FAH jem) process & made by Raymond HAAK. The wine barrels have been “madeirizedâ€￾ in a special, heated cellar with temperatures averaging between 102°F to 106°F. Madeira has a deep, caramel color, as well as aromas of coffee, caramel, walnuts, and plums. Flavors are rich and balanced, with a long, sumptuous finish on the palate.

    I love a dry wine. So, when I first smelled this Madeira I passed on a tasting due to how sweet it was. I bought a glass for my mother who normally loves the sweet stuff. She hated it! So, never one to let alcohol go to waste, I tried it. I instantly fell in love! I now have to find a way to work this into my budget. It’s a little more pricey than my normal wine budget but I think it’s well worth the investment. This wine is truly the perfect end to wonderful evening. Check it out if you get the chance.

  36. grace 36

    look at the bright side–at least he doesn’t have attachment issues. :)

    i know for a fact that my discarded favorite things as a youngster are securely stashed away in my mom’s closet. there’s nothing wrong with that, as long as she doesn’t take them out and smell them or sleep with them herself… :)

  37. Harmony 37

    I agree with covering it with material that you like. Hold on to your treasure girl…you deserve it!

  38. Before it goes away (and boys don’t hold onto things like we do… sad, isn’t it), cut out a square of it and put it in a beautiful frame. That’s what my mother’s sisters did to a family quilt so everyone could have something to remember it by, and it’s really special!

  39. Elle 39

    Awww, I’d wash it again, and put it away. For you, for now. And for him, when he’s older and can look back on it with sweet memories.

  40. Tipper 40

    My girls are in 6th grade-and they still use their blankie. Both have been washed so many times and drug around so much that you can almost see through them. They were made by 2 different people and one has held up better. My mom made one and she had another just like it that she tried to bribe my daughter with-but no she wouldn’t have it-it had to be her blankie. We ended up sewing the old one to the new one to try and hold it together. So I see why your sad-poor blankie.

  41. dlyn 41

    Our daughters are in their 20s and still have their favorite stuffed animals on their beds – their husbands just have to deal.

  42. giz 42

    I keep saying “just wait til you have kids”. I kept everything – it all felt so sentimental – who could throw it out. When they moved out, I thought they might want to have these momentos -I carefully packed them – first shoes, first lock of hair, first blankie, first soos – you know the drill. Both my kids said “what .. are you nuts mom???why would I remotely even want these things”…sigh… I still have them.

  43. anniebb 43

    All 3 of my kids had lovey’s. My youngest ‘s mysteriously disappeared. She was 3 and beyond distraught for a good month. My eldest has about a 3″ square left of her lovey. My boy has a few scraps left of his lovey because I rescued it….from the trash.

    I feel your pain, too, Cathy!

  44. Oh, knife to the heart. I would save it, wrapped up and stored for him somewhere. There may come a day when he’d like to see it or touch it again.

    I still have my “blankie”. When I’m especially stressed, I sometimes even sleep with it. Yes, I’m in therapy. :)

  45. I like the idea of framing a small part of it, maybe in a 3 shot frame with each of those photos. Sometimes a little is all ya need to hold on to the memory.

  46. leslie 47

    This brought tear to my eyes. Having a 5 year old and a 3 year old, and knowing how fat they are growing just makes me sad. DO NOT THROW the blankie away. Tuck it away in a safe spot. Take a peak at it every once in a while to bring you back to all of those wonderful memories when your son was young innocent. He will appriciate it when he has his own children and he can show them the blankie he had when he was a child. Hold on to as many memories as you can(without becoming a pack-rat :)

  47. Shirley 48

    Definitely tuck it away, but not in plastic … in tissue paper. He will probably get a kick out of seeing it when he’s older. You can pass it on to him and then he can do with it what he wishes. My son’s favorite blankie was yellow and made of the softest baby yarn. It really helped that it was knitted by one of his grandmothers. He would rub the fringe on his face to go to sleep, so it became Magic Strings and then just “Strings.” He’s 20 now and it’s tucked away in a duffle bag in his closet with his favorite stuffed animal–a beautiful lion. Those were his decisions and I am glad. I hope he never tells me to throw them away. I don’t think I’ll be able to …