The Beans of Our Lives...A Continuing Series...A Root In My Cho
Dr. Struts: What seems to be the problem today Mrs. Stretch?
Mrs. Stretch: (very, very nervous) Well, umm..er...well...this is very embarrassing.
Dr. Struts: Don't worry Mrs. Stretch I've heard it all. You can tell me. Go ahead.
Mrs. Stretch: (whispering) Well doctor, I've got A ROOT IN MY CHO.
Dr. Struts: What?
Mrs. Stretch: (clearing her throat) A ROOT IN MY CHO!
Dr. Struts: (confused) A Roooo-ttt innnn Your Chch-oooo?
Mrs. Stretch: Yes.
Dr. Struts: I've never heard of that.
Mrs. Stretch: Oooooh geez, see, Oh lordy, I'm so embarrassed. I mean, I've layed so many eggs over the years that, things...you know things and parts...are falling out...and...so I....I...
Dr. Struts: Why don't you let me take a look.
Dr. Struts: Hmmmm.....Hmmmm.
Mrs. Stretch: Do you see it, do you see it?
Dr Struts: Hmmmm....Hmmmm.
Mrs. Stretch: I know it's weird doc but you know I don't have medical insurance and I couldn't afford to purchase the device that would actually hold everything up. I had to use my wits and come up with something else and now it's stuck, and...and...there's a root! Oh GAWWWWWD I could die! Ahhhhhhhhh!
Dr. Struts: (condescendingly) So what you actually have is a potato that has grown a root, in your clo . You do know the proper medical term for this part of your anatomy is a clo or CLOACA, not a cho.
Mrs. Stretch: (sniffling, sobbing) Yes, yes, I know but I was just trying to be edgy doc. You know a hipster and a cool chic like the young ladies these days. I watch Ostrich in the City and all those girls are callin' it a Cho. I just wanted to be like them. I luhhh-ve them.
Dr. Struts: Okay, okay Mrs. Stretch, the commentary is not required here. And in the future please do not use a potato to hold up the inner linings of your clo.
Mrs. Stretch: Is it out doc?
Dr. Struts: Yes, it is.
Mrs. Stretch: Oooooooh THANK YOU DOC!!!!!!!!!
Dr. Struts: Mrs. Stretch, this is highly inappropriate behavior!
Mrs. Stretch: I know, but I also saw this on Ostrich in the City!
Dr. Struts: Good grief.
Stay tuned for the next Webisode...........Clubbin'.
Missed the last Webisode...here it is.
Ummm. Did you get into the Wild Boar's medical books?
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I will NEVER look at potatoes without thinking of Mrs. Stretch and her cho. I will probably burst out laughing and embarrass the hell out of myself.
Thank you thank you for a fabulous Sunday morning laugh! Must go and read the first installment now.
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Is this what happens after you've "tasted" a little too much wine and gotten into your husband's medical books while watching Sex in the City?
I'm so confused and yet also very disturbed and yet also laughing my @$$ off. Dh read this post over my shoulder and thought it was very strange indeed. I think he's afraid to laugh. He also wants to know what the potato was there for. I'm confused about that as well.
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Wow...wasn't expecting that! I too am curious, as to what the purpose of the potato is. Great installment...can't wait to for the next one!
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A potato can hold up the uterus in women whose uterus is falling out. (Yes, this happens) This often happens after giving birth.
A potato has been used by women before and roots can grow out. This is a play on that. Crazy I know, but true and often a joke among the medical community.
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Poatoes are now my all time favorite... vegetable/uterus holder/ thing-a-ma-jiggy.
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Wow.
All I can say right now is, Wow.
A uterus can "fall out"? For real??
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Makes me glad I stopped at two kids. I hope everthing will be ok from here on out for her.
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I have a great deal of sympathy for Ms. Stretch. I have a very difficult time saying the "P" word. My husband is unable to speak and one time he had a yeast infection. It was really awful and I called his doctor for a prescription refill, the following morning it looked better but later in the day (a Sunday) I had him standing up in the bathroom so I could get a good look. It was horribly swollen! I went in the kitchen worrying about calling the doctor, hoping the female doctor was on call, what the hell happened, went in to look again and touched it, still swollen HUGE and HARD. Oh, shit, he's got some awful disease, it's probably going to fall off and how do I discuss this with the doctor?????? I dialed, got ans service, started my explanation and all of a sudden it dawned on me ... hard on. And I didn't even have to use the "P" word.
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i'm speechless Cath...really.
but i'm glad i heard it from you not nobody else.
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Way too funny for words. I too, am most anxious to see the next installment. Whew! The things a GYN's wife will do for entertainment, LOL!
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Learn something new everyday...thanks Cathy!!
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OMG! This is wickedly funny! I need to show this to my friend who collects these dolls! Thanks!
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OMG!!!! I thought I was gonna die from laughing so much! You are so friggin hysterical! I will never be able to look at beanie babies the same!
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This was scary . . . I'm gonna go pack up my Beanies now . . . before they get any ideas.
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OMG ... too funny.
First of all, I have to ask ... did you take your meds this morning? All of them? You know, the ones that, well ..you know! (heehee)
Second, a prolasped uterus is about the worst thing I've ever had to put back in something/someone. Especially on 80 year old women that are balding and can still kick. (omg, I'm losing it too)
Great and funny post! Can't wait to read the next one.
Tanya
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You quack me up.
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Bwahahahahaha Just so you know- I'm forwarding this to everyone I can think of.
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Tell me you were cracking up when you were photographing this one.
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oh my goshhhh seeing the spread eagled pose...it scareddddd meeeeeee
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you are an absolute riot. and so informative! here it is, 4:30 in the morning, and i've already met my daily quota for random gynecological trivia. thanks for the chuckles and the somewhat disturbing factoid.
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Well all I can say about that is I think I will pass the potatoes and see my Dr. if I ever have that problem. Yikes! I don't think I can look a potato in the eye now.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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you are seriously one funny laday. Was this based on a true-life-story???
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