Sideswiped; In the Worst Way


As usual I was minding my own business in my house.  I mean I always do.  Just let me do my things…blog, cook, taste some wine and reminisce about horrible things that have happened to me so that I can share them with all of you.

It’s a simple life, but I like it.  My little world. 

But crappy things happen in my little world.  My bubble of joy gets busted now and again.

So as I was saying, I was just keeping to myself, sitting in front of my computer, when my youngest hooligan busted onto the scene.

Youngest Hooligan:  Mom…Mom…

Me:  (not looking at him, continuing my computing activities) Yeah…

Youngest Hooligan:  Ummmm, I’m really busy and I can’t hold these anymore.

Me:  (still not looking) Uh-huh.

Youngest Hooligan:  Mommmmmmm, I’m so serious.  I can’t hoooooollldddd them.

Me:  (still uninterested, still not looking) Okay, okay.

Youngest Hooligan:  MOM! HELP ME!

Me:  (still not looking-I’m good at that)  Just put it down here (as I pat my lap).

Youngest Hooligan:  (hesitating…) Okay…but…okay.

Me:  (feeling a hard press on my leg, looking down) Oh God, no!  Gross, why?  Oh man…what are you thinking…eeewwww!

Youngest Hooligan:  (runs away really fast)

I’ve included a photo for your viewing pleasure……..

Yes, these are boogars pressed into my pant leg.  These are what HE could NO LONGER hold!  What the hell!  It’s not like there aren’t any napkins, paper towels, tissues and water all within two feet of where we were! 

Geez, I was so angry, annoyed and laughing hysterically all at once, like some manic freak who did not know what to do with her emotions. 

So I did what any good blogger would do…….

I took a close up.

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16 Comments

  1. I think this is somewhat poetic.

    Why are the boogers so red? LOL

    You know, that’s exactly how my mom talked to me, since I was her second child. I assume I’ll talk to my youngest that way, and so on.

    Reply
  2. Good Lord. I actually thought it was going to be barf. So, you made out okay. Right?

    Reply
  3. My mind was running rampant with what it could be…I have a younger brother so I know first hand all the nasty, creepy things it could have been.

    I think it’s hysterical that you took pictures and blogged it, because that is exactly what I would do. If you can’t share moments like this with the world, who can you share them with?

    Reply
  4. Boogers… yeah, I can see why he couldn’t hold onto them any longer. Thank goodness it’s the one with the killer dimples. He’s too cute to bump him off for a booger drop!

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  5. Theory on why the boogers are red: the finger that plucked them had just been dipped in cherry Koolaid?

    At least your kid asked you (in a way). My 4yo wiped his booger onto my sleeve one day as we sat together watching a movie.

    I took a mental picture.

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  6. What ever happened to kids just eating their boogers?!!!

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  7. I wonder how long he had been holding them, before handing of the responsibility to you. LOL….you truly are a good blogger. *pats on back*

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  8. What??? Totally gross.. I hear ya on the ‘not looking’ thang when working on the computer..I’m guilty as well.. But boogers??? GADS… I say, that boy is gonna need a kleenex stapled to his itty bitty forehead! Did his dad put him up to it? That would be something that happens in this house!
    I help at the kids school 1x a week – and the kids that actually eat their boogers are so dang weird! It’s always the weird ones.. Better out than in…

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  9. pam 9

    Oh My Gosh! I am trying to recover from the flu here and you have to post something like that!

    Reply
  10. Deb 10

    A booger blogger – has a nice ring to it!

    Reply
  11. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

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  12. ALF 12

    Why was he holding them in the first place???

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  13. You know that story about the kid that brings his mom flowers and she never noticed because she was too busy. I really thought this was going to be one of those sweet, “oh, I feel so bad that I don’t appreciate my child” guilt driven stories, and he brought you flowers. Nope. Funny, though. You should change his blog name to Young Boog and link back to this story every time you write about him.

    Reply
  14. I’m gagging… and empathizing.

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  15. eeeeeeeek!!!!!!!

    *shudders, gags, and runs away*

    Reply
  16. Ewwww, but too funny. Kids! It just keeps getting better as they get older.

    Shirley

    Reply

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