Ummmm…I have a serious problem. It’s my kitchen utensil drawer.
Ridiculous isn’t it?
Okay, so I use the stuff in this drawer probably more than any other stuff in my house (except for the vacuum, toilet paper, my hairbrush, my toothbrush,) but you get it…this is a very busy place. But just because it’s a highly popular spot doesn’t mean that it has to look like this?
I wonder what this says about me? I’m not lazy (most of the time). Am I organized-ly challenged? My clothing closet doesn’t look like this. My linen closet is actually quite immaculate. The coat closet is somewhat decent. My bookcase. Perfect. The pantry, well let’s not go there.
Why is it that every nook and cranny of the kitchen has so many looming disasters? It’s my favorite room in the house.
In this drawer alone it’s possible to sever a finger on a giant clever while searching for the muddler to make a Mojito. It’s a chaotic, pitiful, disaster and I see no way of fixing it.
Do the ice cream scoops and four barbecue basting brushes need to be in the same drawer? What about the cherry pit remover and the fish fillet knife. I need a plan.
But look, here’s utensil drawer number two. More trouble.
Senseless items in blissful togetherness…bamboo skewers, two fat skimmers, a phone charger, a pastry cutter and headphones. My lameness is all very apparent here.
Now this cupboard looks somewhat decent right? But this is only a view of the front row.
Behind the springform pan, the pie plates, the very large lobster steaming pot and the Cuisinart blades is another row of crapola.
Baking pans in every shape and size, cooling racks, Halloween partyware and an endless supply of mixing bowls are only some of the contraband that can be found in the elusive second row.
As you start pulling things out of this cabinet other unrelated paraphernalia can roll out and kill you instantaneously. It really could. I swear. I’m not even joking.
Hopefully by exposing myself to the world I will be so embarrassed that I will once and for all get my kitchen together.
But yet another mindless conglomeration of crap…
China, root beer float glasses, ramekins in every size, a baby monitor we haven’t used in four years, a jar of pennies, coffee cups and you can’t see it but there is a bottle of vodka lurking in here as well.
What’s sad is, my hooligans are following in my foot steps. Here is their kitchen drawer. Every pencil from every birthday party they’ve attended since the year 2000 resides in this drawer.
It must be genetic. Here’s their second kitchen drawer. Thirty-eight pairs of scissors, 14 calculators and enough markers to re-color the Sistine Chapel. At least their groupings are not so senseless.
Oh, but what’s this mess. THIS IS NOT MY MESS. This is the mess I blame for all my other kitchen messes.
This cabinet was once articulately, delightfully and thoughtfully arranged with my china, teapots and tapered candle holders. All have since had to find other homes in my kitchen, causing over-crowding and kitchen cookware hostility everywhere else.
Slowly and deviously the Wild Boar in all of his sneakiness and trickery started taking over the shelves like this was some type of apothecary cabinet for the medically challenged.
My dishes were slowly replaced with nasal sprays, milk of magnesia, earwax removal kits and all sorts of vitamins and supplements that we never, ever take.
My ice cream bowls became containers for miniature packets of Advil and allergy relief pills.
Somehow he felt it was okay to violate the most precious real estate in the house. My kitchen cabinets!
It’s not like we don’t have a plethora of bathroom cabinets that would happily house these medically misplaced objects.
I want my kitchen back. NOW!
Sorry I had to call you out honey. It’s for the best.
Does anyone else have a crazy place in their house they want to recapture?